Healing Stages by Zoey G

Описание: "Healing Stages"

Hello thank you for coming to my Ted talk
I got a couple of things I'd like to touch on
You know that last year was loaded for me
So I came into this one more positively
And I'll admit I'm impressed
How much mindset affects things
Honestly there's a lot
That could've gone differently
But hey - it's okay
I'm not asking what if
'Cause we know that's a game
Where nobody wins
Anyways
It's not like the changes were drastic
I worked on having better sleeping habits
Changed my playlists to happier things
Kinda difficult to dance
When it's all depressing
Motivational post-its all over my fridge
Sounds silly but it works
When you're needing a lift
I can tell
How I walk and I carry myself
Got my confidence back
People at work can tell
And I pray every day when I get in my car
I rewrite my reputation since I got a fresh start
'Cause even though last year
I had a lot going on
I might've let it get to my head
Set some bridges on fire
But back to now
The following might sound a bit toxic
If you got a lot of trauma
You're gon' relate to it
For example I tell people that I thrive in chaos
And what they don't prepare you for
In the healing process
Is when things are going great
And you start to feel happy
On the edge of your seat
Waitin' for the next tragedy
Paranoid
Walkin' eggshells like they're bound to break
You look down
Path of bricks?
Gotta be a mistake
Wait, he called?
You mean he wants to see me again?
Nah I'm good thanks
I'm really only lookin' for friends
I mean yea
I've been tryin' to find the love of my life
But I don't think that I'm capable
So no point in tryin'
And that's the thing
When you're so used to things goin' wrong
You don't know how to handle good things that come along
You just reject it
Self-sabotage 'cause it's all you know
The moment you can settle down
You're the first one out the door
Yea that's me
So here I am doin' all the work
Journaling, therapy, reading self-help books
And honestly it's exhausting
Tryin' to break these mindsets:
Everyone is out to get me
Always choosin' violence
What's insane is
The moment I feel like giving up
I always get this little sign
That shows it's worth the work
Matter of fact
That happened to me just the other day
I was at work n solved a problem
'N someone came up to me
He said "just to let you know
You're handling all this so well
And you're always really calm
You will do great, I can tell"
Wait, what'd he say?
Did he really just call me calm?
I didn't think that word existed to describe who I am
I've gotten spicy, fiesty, fighter,
Little ball of anger
Sour patch, buttercup from Powerpuff Girls
Stick of dynamite
I've actually been proud to be
There's a method to my madness
And it's worked for me
But let me get back to the point
That I'm tryna make
No matter how many sessions
Or the pills you take
Nothin' ever will prepare you for what happens after
You clean up the mess you made
And quit causin' disasters
Now brace yourself
This will probably be the worst part of all
But I've gotta say it
Feel free to correct if I'm wrong
But if you've gotten to this point
In your recovery journey
Is it just me?
Or do you start to question your purpose?
Like wait if I'm not fighting
I'm not worth fighting for
And wait if I'm not reckless
I know I'mma get bored
And wait if I'm not screamin'
Will I ever be heard?
And if they aren't scared of me
I'm gonna get hurt
How come I feel more vulnerable?
Completely exposed
Congrats, you got new coping skills
Healthy ones! Oh, those?
Yea, I'm doin' great
It's like I got a new life
I'm just a little down because the old me died
I thought I had more time
But she was ready to go
Guess I'll have one more cry
Here at the funeral now
Goodbye friend, rest in peace
Thanks for all that you did
To make sure I was protected
In the hell that we lived
Some would say that you were bad
And it was all your fault
But I know you tried your best
Kept me alive through it all
Guess the time has come to move on
Leave the past behind me
I'll do what I can to make you proud
And honor your memory
The start of a new chapter
Though it's bound to be good
I'm not feelin' excited
Though I know that I should
But I'll give it a try
Deep breath 'n turn the page
I've never gotten this far
In the healing stages

Copyright ©️ Zoey Gonzalez 2026

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