Examples And Impacts Of "Score Keeping" In Relationships?

Описание: "Score Keeping" in a relationship can impact you and your significant other in a negative way.

Score keeping is when you and your partner measure performances and actions, and keep a tally of it. For example, if you two are in the middle of an argument and you ask your partner to do the dishes, and his reply is, "I did the dishes 3 times this week already". And then you reply, "I walked the dog 4 times this week". And he replies back with, "I cleaned the bathroom last week too".

***If you want to know if your relationship is healthy or needs work, click on my quiz link below now:

https://kristincoaching.com/will-my-r...

The idea of score keeping sets you two up for unpleasant exchanges between you two. It also creates negative feelings, which can impact your relationship.

When you are in a relationship, there is no way you two are going to be able to keep track to maintain exact equitable division of assets.

If you want your relationship to last long term, you will need to engage in positive attitudes, effective communication, and being able to problem-sole together.

If there is score keeping, you are essentially creating rigid and negative interactions with one another. There needs to be trust within the relationship that both of you are putting in equal EFFORT, not equal tasks.

Now if you feel like you are doing all the household work, for example, and your partner never does any, what can your partner do to make you feel like there is effort on their part that contributes to the overall functioning of the household? If that is doing more house tasks, great! But maybe it's doing something else. Can they run errands that you don't want to run? Can they do some grocery shopping more? Take the car in for an oil check?

There are so many tasks that need to get done in order for a relationship to function properly, and as long as both people are feeling like each other are putting in effort, that is what counts most.

So if your score keeping is causing issues in your relationship, stop doing it! Figure out other ways to gage efforts from one another. Problem solve together to make your relationship feel functional and fair.