underneath the stars || mep collection 23 [jun-dec 2024]

Описание: last year, from my mep collection:
"desires for 2024:
survive. literally that's all i am not foolish enough to try and list things or goals i would like to have again lmfao"

2024, deciding to punish me for my hubris anyway:

anyways! this year was. Weird. cool and good things happened! i went to lena's wedding in germany! my first time out of the country! i started spravato! i really do have the best and most wonderful friends i could ever ask for! i also have had the worst mental health crises in a REALLY LONG TIME and tried a research study to fix my brain and that didn't work and also couldn't stay employed because of my mental health and also my body deteriorating further lmao and also (continues until i am buried under the weight of how wrong things have gone)

so you'll notice the latest part in this collection is from... october, i think lmao. that's because everything went to hell in a handbasket in october :D and i have been sparsely around ever since!!! sorry i'm like this!!!! i'm still Bad!!!!!! really not good but y'know i am, still, somehow despite all best efforts, alive, so like, that's cool. maybe. in some way. i have enough stuff for a seisub ita bag and once the stupid cherry blossom bag gets here i'll have that too. i wrote a LOT, like a lot a lot, check out this really depressing seisub oneshot that's (checks notes) 21k: https://archiveofourown.org/works/603... so that's nice. seisub is still rotting my brain 24/7 but who is surprised about that!!!

i uhhhh. what else. i played some games. metaphor refantazio i think is one of the best games i have ever played period, easily top 3. kyle got me a ps portal for christmas so now i can play it as atlus games are intended to be played (in bed at 3am). i fell back into love & deepspace hell because sylus was designed in a lab for me and i love my fictional boyfriend who lives in my phone. i had some great outfits this year lmao. bought my second full price angelic pretty jsk for funsies (i really love bear applique okay). i am now "de-employed" (like unemployed but fun) for apparently the rest of my life if i so choose because my husband is actually the best person in the universe and working is hard, actually, and i am tired. spravato is definitely helping slowly but surely but holy fuck i have the worst reaction to it ever and literally lose the next 24-36 hours of my life to nausea every session. i'm so exhausted CONSTANTLY because of this. because i'm still at twice a week because of aforementioned "slowly" LOL.

finally i have two more things to post over the next two days bc i did do SOME editing over the last 2.5 months so. that's cool and fun right. i am dying. :D new spicy sylus card save me tomorrow. save me new spicy sylus card...........................

i'm not even going to wish for neutrality in 2025. i've learned my lesson. i will go into 2025 with the bar of my expectations in hell. may the year be kinder to all of y'all lmfao