The Dangerous Lie: That Estrangement Equals Abuse | Estranged and Deranged Ep. 9

Описание: In this episode of Estranged & Deranged, Candi and Chris take on one of the most damaging and oversimplified narratives in estrangement conversations: the idea that if an adult child is estranged, they were automatically abused or neglected by their parents.
Sparked by real comments, social media posts, and statements made by licensed professionals online, this episode challenges the growing belief that estrangement and abuse are interchangeable. Candi and Chris explain why this mindset is not only inaccurate, but harmful, especially to those who experienced real, severe abuse.
Drawing from lived experience, decades of professional work in child welfare, and years of supporting estranged parents, this conversation explores how the word abuse has been diluted, misused, and applied without context, nuance, or individual examination.
In this episode, we discuss:
Why estrangement does NOT automatically equal abuse
How social media and therapy culture have blurred critical definitions
The difference between abuse, conflict, hardship, and imperfect parenting
How perception and memory shape lived experience
Why estranged parents are often labeled the villain by default
The impact of misusing the word abuse on those who truly need help
Why accountability, reflection, and grief can exist at the same time
This episode is not about denying pain.
It is about restoring meaning, logic, and humanity to a conversation that has become extreme and polarized.
If you are an estranged parent, an adult child trying to understand complex family dynamics, or someone navigating ambiguous loss, this episode offers perspective that is often missing from mainstream discussions.

00:00 Welcome to Estranged & Deranged
01:45 The Comment That Sparked This Episode
05:10 Why Estranged Parents Are Labeled the Villain
08:20 Does Estrangement Automatically Mean Abuse?
11:40 When the Word “Abuse” Loses Its Meaning
15:30 Therapy Culture and Defining Abuse
19:40 Real Abuse vs Hard Family Life
23:30 Extreme Examples and Where the Line Gets Crossed
27:40 Perception, Memory, and Different Childhood Experiences
31:00 Accountability, Dialogue, and Final Thoughts
33:40 Support Groups, Resources, and Where to Find Us


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