Society Says You Don't Get to Have Pain Especially If You Are Estranged | Estranged & Deranged Ep 8

Описание: In Episode 8, Chris and Candi return with a refreshed setup and introduce an exciting new chapter for the podcast, welcoming their new producer, Maranda Taylor.
The conversation quickly moves into one of the most difficult and misunderstood aspects of estrangement: the belief that parents should carry their pain quietly, take full blame, and remain silent. Chris and Candi speak openly about what it feels like to be challenged publicly, judged without context, and told that parental grief is invalid.
This episode explores the damaging cultural narrative that estranged parents are automatically at fault and therefore do not deserve empathy, voice, or grief. Together, they challenge the idea that accountability and pain cannot coexist and affirm that multiple truths can exist at the same time.

🕒 Episode Breakdown & Key Moments
(0:00–1:30)
Welcome to Episode 8
New setup and improved production
Introduction of the podcast’s new producer
Lighthearted banter about the show’s name
(1:30–3:30)
Explanation of the weekly “Comment of the Week”
Why these comments matter
The importance of parents having a voice
(3:30–9:00)
Candi shares a public comment that crossed the line
Assumptions about accountability and parenting
Addressing the myth that estranged parents refuse reflection
Clarifying that one estranged relationship does not define all relationships
(9:00–12:00)
Accountability, therapy, and introspection
Emotional impact of being publicly labeled and dismissed
(12:00–16:00)
Core topic: what society thinks parents should do with their pain
Why the narrative demands silence
How multiple truths can exist at once
(16:00–19:30)
Society’s discomfort with complexity
Pressure on parents to “just move on”
Why estrangement grief is different
(19:30–21:30)
Mental and emotional toll of estrangement
Identity loss as a parent
Why silence can be dangerous
(21:30–24:30)
Why parental pain is minimized
Guilt, shame, and the villain narrative
(24:30–28:30)
Therapy expectations and responsibility dynamics
Adult-to-adult communication
Accountability as a shared responsibility
(28:30–End)
Final reflections on boundaries and humanity
Affirmation that parents are allowed to feel pain
Closing thoughts on voice and healing

💬 Key Themes
Parental grief and ambiguous loss
Accountability versus automatic blame
Society’s discomfort with parental pain
Identity loss after estrangement
Healing without silence
The right to speak your truth

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🎧 Listener Takeaway
You can take accountability and still grieve.
You can reflect and still feel pain.
Silence is not healing, and grief does not require permission.