Communicating With People You Don’t Like

Описание: If you have to work with or see someone you don’t like… I hope this helps! XO

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To Read:
Communicating with people we dislike is incredibly difficult.

If we have to work with a person we don’t like, or we have to see a family member we don’t like, we want to be able to communicate with the person without the constant frustration or anxiety that causes us a lot of stress and unnecessary unhappiness.

When we don’t like someone, it can feel like the person is against us - they seem to be causing us problems by disagreeing, by being passive aggressive, and by making our life difficult.

But when we examine it, we can see that we usually dislike someone because they have such a completely different working style from us, or because they have an attitude or perspective that we just don’t agree with.

It’s not that the person is against us, it’s that they are so different from us that they’re like an alien - we don’t understand how a person can behave like that.
Acknowledging that we don’t understand someone is the first step to acknowledging that people are just different. How can we be upset at someone we don’t understand? It’s like being frustrated at a cat for being a cat.

Accepting that people are different changes the picture of them in our head. Suddenly, they’re no longer not a monster or an alien. They’re not our enemy and they’re not against us. They are just different and they probably find it equally stressful dealing with us, because from their point of view, we are the alien.

They are not going to change. And if you are also not going to change your mindset, then you are going to continue suffering. It’s not about what’s fair or unfair or who’s more right or wrong - it’s about you not suffering.

If we insist on measuring people against our own standards of what is right, what is normal and what is good, then we are the ones who will suffer. Anxiety, stress, frustration, anger, - these are all suffering.
If you can exit the relationship, then there’s no need to ever see the person again. However, if you have to keep working with the person or seeing a family member, it really helps to remove a layer of suffering from your interaction, so that at the very least, you are in a better state of mind and emotional well-being to focus on your own objectives.

We don’t have to like someone like a friend, but to communicate effectively, we have to at least not see them as an enemy. Only we can remove our own frustration and stress and help ourselves be happy, always.