I'm 85 years Old...My 40 Years Of Marriage Gone..My Wrong Choice. Don't Waste Yours Like I Did.

Описание: I need to be honest about the drinking. Because it's part of the story. Part of the price.
I've been drunk, to varying degrees, for 60 years.
There were periods where I was more careful. When the children were very young. When Richard was trying to get me help. When I'd promise to stop and manage to cut back for a few weeks or months before sliding back.
But I've never been truly sober as an adult. Not since my early twenties.


The alcohol was the only thing that made life bearable. It softened the edges. Numbed the screaming inside my head. Made the endless parties and dinners and conversations tolerable. Made sleeping next to a man I didn't love possible. Made looking at my children without feeling anything seem normal.
I was never falling-down drunk. Never sloppy or obvious. I perfected the art of the high-functioning alcoholic. Always put-together, always appropriate, always maintaining appearances. Just... always a little drunk.
The staff knew. Of course they knew. They saw the bottles. They refilled my glass. But they were too polite to say anything. Too well-trained to comment on the boss's drinking.


Richard knew. He tried to help. Begged me to go to rehab. I went once, lasted three days, left. What was the point? The problem wasn't the alcohol. The problem was my life. And rehab couldn't fix that.
My children knew. They grew up seeing me with a glass in my hand. Learned to tell when I'd had too much by the slight glassiness in my eyes, the careful way I'd pronounce words. They learned to avoid me in the evenings when the drinking was heaviest.
Now I'm 85 and my liver is probably destroyed and I still drink every single day. Because what else is there? What reason do I have to stop now?

#usa #relationship #marriage #love #dothingsyoudontwanttodo