Why Love Hurts So Much: Attachment Theory and the Real Reason Couples Fight

Описание: Welcome to Figs & Teale, a space dedicated to honest conversations about love, connection, and what really happens inside our relationships. In this video, couples psychotherapist Fiachra “Figs” O’Sullivan explores why love can hurt so deeply, even when we care so much about each other. If you’ve ever wondered why the same arguments keep repeating or why disconnection feels so overwhelming, you’re in the right place.

Using Attachment Theory, Figs explains that love is not just a feeling but a biological need that stays with us from cradle to grave. As adults, our partners become our primary attachment figures, and when that bond feels threatened, our nervous system reacts fast. We protest, shut down, criticise, or withdraw not because we’re broken, but because we’re wired to seek safety, closeness, and reassurance in love.

This talk helps couples see the negative cycles they get stuck in and understand that the real problem isn’t either partner it’s the pattern they fall into together. By recognising vulnerability, softening blame, and taking responsibility for our part, couples can de-escalate conflict and begin to feel safer, more connected, and more secure with each other again.

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