How can I be more resilient in stressful situations? with Dr. Joan Borysenko

Описание: http://lumenznetworks.com/borysenko - Dr. Joan Borysenko shares her insights on stress management, life balance, and spirituality in healing.

We all need to be able to develop resilience because the world is in a tremendous time of change. And even that aside, our personal lives are always changing. It's just the nature of life. One thing dies away, something else comes up. And you got to be able to be comfortable with that kind of flow. So resilience has been studied in a number of contexts. People who are sick, who's resilient and who crumbles? People who unfortunately have been prisoners of war or in concentration camps. Kids who have come from really disadvantaged, abusive backgrounds. So even corporations, resilience in corporations is a big area of study. And do you know what? Whether you're an individual or a corporation, the basics of resilience are the same. So let's talk about five things that you can do to become a more resilient person. And you know, I wasn't a resilient person myself. So, I know these things up close and personal. Because I've been working on them for years personally. And I can tell you, you will change your brain circuits and you can become resilient no matter what your family history was, no matter what your brain wiring is now. These are skills that can absolutely change your brain, change your attitude and change your life. The first thing that we know about resilience is that resilient people are realists and I'll give you a corporate example of that. Remember there was a first bombing of the World Trade Center years before the planes actually crashed into the towers. At that time one company, which was Morgan Stanley, said we better recognize we are in a very high value target and this is not likely the last attempt. Sooner or later the terrorists will come again to destroy these towers and we have to be ready. That's what a realist does. No ducking of the head in the sand, no wishful thinking. Just like, hey we've to pay attention here. And what they did was to get a wonderful resilient Vietnam vet as their head of security. And do drills constantly so that their people, over 7000 of them, knew how to evacuate from that tower. And then they also got three offices off-site. So that were the towers to go down, they'd be able to continue their business. Well, what happened? It was so sad. During the planes crashing into the towers on 9/11, is it paid off for them. Even though their floor took a direct hit, fortunately they were in the second tower so they had some time. But the security got everybody out but seven people. The head of security actually parished because he was getting everybody else out. But it's extraordinary that they were able to evacuate virtually everybody from those offices. So we all have to be realists. If you're living in a lousy marriage, if you're living with an abusive person, you have to be realistic. It's unlikely that person is gonna change. You're gonna have to make a radical step toward your own freedom. Or if you've lost your job, it's not a good idea to sit around and do affirmations and expect a job to come to you. You need to get out there and be a realist and take charge. So that's the first part of being resilient. Do something. Actually face things head on, eyes wide open, heart wide open. Ask your friends for help and that's, that really is important. The second aspect of resiliency is that we're meaning-making animals, human beings are. I often think of the soul as the organ of the creation of meaning. And if you're going through a hard time, you have to be able to create meaning for that so that you don't become depressed. So for example, many people have had difficult marriages. If you say to yourself, "the meaning of this is I'm a no-good person. I don't deserve love." You're not very resilient. But if you say to yourself "I have faith and trust that this aspect of my life, like so many others, is a place where I'm learning and I'm growing. Yes, it's a difficult time. But I'm facing it head on and I will be different now. I've learned so much from this difficult relationship." That's faith and trust. So for some people it's religious faith. But for many of us, it's simply faith that life is meaningful and good. The third aspect of resilience, we've looked at realism, we've looked at faith and meaning.. the third aspect is that resilient people tend to be radically creative. And this is really really really important. Radical creativity means that you think outside of the box.