The Masculinity "Crisis:" What Really Makes Someone Attractive?

Описание: Young men are bombarded with messages pushing them to be more masculine in order to attract women. This creates insecurity, is connected to a wide variety of social ills, and usually doesn't even work. I struggled with this for a long time, here's what I've learned about what really makes someone attractive.

Loved working on this, hope you enjoy it. Big shouts to Joel the video editor.

0:00 Introduction
3:20 Does more masculine = more attractive?
8:48 What traits have we attached to masculinity?
11:39 Hegemonic masculinity
16:00 The intention-behavior gap
19:20 What really makes someone attractive?
21:30 Focus on what you can control
24:59 The two key elements of charisma
27:04 Listen
28:25 Values
30:19 Who's excited to be around you?
32:08 Oh no bears
35:33 Dat body
38:07 So what you're saying is be less masculine?

Research referenced:

Oh, D., Grant-Villegas, N., & Todorov, A. (2020). The eye wants what the heart wants: Female face preferences are related to partner personality preferences. Journal of Experimental Psychology: Human Perception and Performance, 46(11), 1328–1343. https://doi.org/10.1037/xhp0000858

Felesina, T., & Zietsch, B. (2024). The Desirable Dad Hypothesis: Male Same-Sex Attraction as the Product of Selection for Paternal Care via Antagonistic Pleiotropy. Archives of sexual behavior, 53(5), 1731–1745. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-023-02...

Sheeran, P. (2002). Intention—Behavior Relations: A Conceptual and Empirical Review. European Review of Social Psychology, 12(1), 1–36. https://doi.org/10.1080/1479277214300...

Eastwick, P. W., & Finkel, E. J. (2008). Sex differences in mate preferences revisited: Do people know what they initially desire in a romantic partner? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 94(2), 245–264. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.94....

Hyde, J. S. (2005). The Gender Similarities Hypothesis. American Psychologist, 60(6), 581-592.
Lewontin, R. C. (1972). The Apportionment of Human Diversity. Evolutionary Biology, 6, 381-398.

Verčič, A.T., & Verčič, D. (2011). Generic charisma Conceptualization and measurement. Fuel and Energy Abstracts.

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Who Am I: I'm Forrest, the co-author of Resilient (https://amzn.to/3iXLerD) and host of the Being Well Podcast (https://apple.co/38ufGG0). I'm making videos focused on simplifying psychology, mental health, and personal growth. I'm not a clinician, and what I say on this channel should not be taken as medical advice.

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