Why conflicts make relationships stronger

Описание: What You’ll Learn in This Video:

What Winnicott meant by “good enough” caregiving

How frustration and imperfection support a child’s development

The emotional arc of Tronick’s still face experiment

Why perfect attunement isn’t the goal of parenting or relationships

How conflict helps children build resilience, self-agency, and emotional depth

What modern psychodynamic theories say about rupture, repair, and growth

How these ideas apply to adult relationships and psychotherapy

Why It Matters:
Many of us carry anxiety about not being “enough”—as parents, partners, or people. We think that if we mess up, we might cause harm or be seen as inadequate. But what Winnicott and Tronick revealed—each in their own way—is that being imperfect is not only okay, it’s developmentally necessary.

When a parent misattunes and then reattunes, it gives the child a template for how to survive emotional pain, disappointment, and disconnection—and how to come back from it. These micro-conflicts, these ruptures and repairs, are the very process by which we learn to live, relate, and love.

Key Concepts Covered:

Good enough mothering (Winnicott)

The holding environment

Still face experiment (Tronick)

Rupture and repair

The role of frustration in ego development

Transitional space and emerging self

Modern psychodynamic and developmental theory

Who Is This Video For?
This video is for:

Parents and caregivers who want to raise emotionally resilient children

Therapists and clinicians looking to deepen their understanding of early development

Psychology students exploring foundational developmental theories

Anyone reflecting on their own childhood wounds or relational struggles

📚Theories & Thinkers Referenced:

Donald Winnicott

Edward Tronick

Jessica Benjamin (mutual recognition)

Peter Fonagy & Mentalization-Based Theory

Psychoanalytic perspectives on developmental conflict

🌱 About This Channel:
I'm Dr. Soe Thein, a psychiatrist and psychodynamic therapist in New York City. My mission is to bring complex psychological ideas to life—whether you're a clinician, a parent, or someone curious about the inner world. Subscribe to this channel for videos that blend clinical insight, research, and human understanding.


This video was largely based on the following articles:
▸ Tronick, E. Z., & Gianino, A. (1986). Interactive mismatch and repair: Challenges to the coping infant. Zero to Three, 6(3), 1–6.

▸ The Power of Discord: Why the Ups and Downs of Relationships Are the Secrets to Building Intimacy, Resilience, and Trust by Claudia Gold and Ed Tronick --- https://amzn.to/3T0LXIY

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Disclaimer:
This video is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. We recommend consulting a licensed behavioral health provider before trying any of the strategies mentioned in our materials.

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