depth

Описание: 「 can you breathe with me in this slow rhythm? 」

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i still dont know what to write here. so many things have been happening during making this song. honestly, it was kinda hard to start it initially.. so many things were happening while i was making this song that it’s hard to name just one reason for its creation. everything blended together - the feelings, the questions, the memories. it became a single thread i simply followed.
this song is more like a path than a project, a memory of my way, and i think it's noticeable. lyrics, music, art - surprisingly, i managed to reflect myself and my emerging feelings captured in the song.
at first, it was about distance as well as "fading in the snow". about being "close" to people yet never truly understood. about growing up feeling out of place, as if i was only observing the world instead of living in it, like there was a thin layer of water between me and everything else. that feeling shaped much more of me than i ever realized.
but while working on this piece, things slowly changed. the questions deepened, then softened. something inside me shifted into acceptance - not isolation, but recognition of my own way of being. my own depth. it stopped being like a cage of my own mind. it became.. almost a comfort zone. i don't need approval from outside to be myself. i realized that there's no guilt - neither mine nor anyone else's. i may just.. be.. living at my own pace. i understood that creativity is not just a hobby for me - it’s my way of breathing, my way of speaking to the world, and my way of feeling real and connected to others who also live in their depth.
it was as a therapy for me, a moment of contemplation and cogitation, and i'm glad that it happened.. i'm still tired, almost painfully exhausted, but still.. it was my memory, the embodiment of it all..

thank you for listening

ps yep, it's the first time i use someone other than Dimitri. honestly, i discovered Mio quite a long time ago, and the most funny thing that she caught my attention 'cause i read her kanji name before the romanized version, hehe. besides, i found something common with her as well as with Dimitri. plus, her design is so ethereal - just what suits this song well in terms of atmosphere and meaning.

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telegram: https://t.me/rotcat_444
youtube: (you're already here)

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[video info]
type: original
title: depth
vocal:DIMITRI ENG&JP (UTAU voicebank by ‪@nearsgarden‬ ), Hanane Mio|花音ミオ (UTAU voicebank by ‪@RinRinTyaan‬ | https://vk.com/rinutau)
music & lyrics & art & video: rotcat
tools: FL Studio 21 + OpenUtau + Adobe Premiere Pro 2020 + Krita

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[timeline]
18/11/2025 - the project has been finally created. tried to make the main melody.
19/11/2025 - the first part of the song has been done. honestly, i like how it sounds now. and i'm kinda surprised because it seems easier to use the english voiceback after "daisy bell". i'm glad.
20/11/2025 - tried to make the second part (first break). i don't understand like there's something wrong. not those drums, not those effects, the voice is in the wrong key, etc. okay, probably i'm just tired and need to rest..
22/11/2025 - ok, i took a break yesterday (u know, a break from breakcore, xd), so i check it now, and it isn't that bad as i expected. well, i wanna change drums, anyway, but it's later. i've added more instruments and effects and made dimitri's vocal before second break. also, made text for mio and started making her part. but i'm tired, and i think it's all for today.
23/11/2025 - i've tried to start pitching, adding more emotions in parts 3&4. i've redacted only part 3, but i have no powers for completing 4th one. besides, my eyes are red already.. i'll continue tomorrow. there's no reason to rush
24/11/2025 - i've redacted all parts. now, part 3 really screams. also, i've changed some timings. i'm only still thinking about Mio's part.. probably, i should collect it all and then think about moving further.
25/11/2025 - i've ended the text and made the last part completely. there's only Mio's part left
26/11/2025 - Mio's part is completed
27/11/2025 - i've tried to mix it all, but Mio's part still seems alien
28/11/2025 - i've tried to do something
29/11/2025 - i've tried to mix it all x2. at least, he starts screaming in part 3
1/12/2025 - i've done a lot of stuff today, yet i don't feel happy or contented
2/12/2025 - it's complete... i'll make last corrections tomorrow/day after
3-5/12/2025 - drawing (i spent 18 hours for it..) tried to collect it all together
6-7/12/2025 - i've begged premiere to work. but in the end, it's done..

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#utau #vocaloid #original #utausong #vocaloidsong #originalsong #rotcat #breakcore #weirdcore #dreamcore #dimitri #miohanane #hananemio #music #song