The double standards you lived under — and why they still affect you

Описание: Many people don’t realise how deeply double standards shape how you see yourself — even long after the relationship ends.
This live is about the rules you were living under, and why they don’t disappear overnight.

In controlling and narcissistic relationships, the rules are rarely the same for both people.

You may have been expected to:
– explain yourself
– stay calm
– take responsibility
– adapt, forgive, and minimise your needs

while the other person didn’t.

Over time, those double standards don’t just shape the relationship — they shape how you judge yourself.

In this live stream, we’ll talk about:
– what double standards actually look like in real life
– how they become internalised
– why you may still be harsh with yourself after leaving
– and why this isn’t a personal flaw, but a learned survival pattern

This live is for you if you’ve left and still feel “wrong”…
and also for you if you’re still in the relationship and quietly recognising these patterns.

This is not about blaming or diagnosing anyone.
It’s about understanding what you were living under — and why unlearning it takes time.

You’re welcome to listen quietly or share in the chat.
This is a gentle, reflective space.In controlling and narcissistic relationships, the rules are rarely the same for both people.

You may have been expected to:
– explain yourself
– stay calm
– take responsibility
– adapt, forgive, and minimise your needs

while the other person didn’t.

Over time, those double standards don’t just shape the relationship — they shape how you judge yourself.

In this live stream, we’ll talk about:
– what double standards actually look like in real life
– how they become internalised
– why you may still be harsh with yourself after leaving
– and why this isn’t a personal flaw, but a learned survival pattern

This live is for you if you’ve left and still feel “wrong”…
and also for you if you’re still in the relationship and quietly recognising these patterns.

This is not about blaming or diagnosing anyone.
It’s about understanding what you were living under — and why unlearning it takes time.

You’re welcome to listen quietly or share in the chat.
This is a gentle, reflective space.

📖 Free Resources (Pay-What-You-Want)
My resources are free to download, with an option to make a donation if you’d like to support the channel:

📕 E-book: How Could He?
(The Truth About Abusive Relationships & The Path To Recovery)
👉 https://lightoverthebridge.gumroad.co...

📝 The Bridge Journal — 7 Days of Clarity After Leaving a Controlling Relationship
👉 https://lightoverthebridge.gumroad.co...

🎥 Free Video: Understanding the Trauma Bond
If you want a clear explanation of what a trauma bond is, why it forms, and why leaving can feel so difficult, you can watch the free video here:
👉    • Why You Can’t Let Go (The Trauma Bond Expl...  


📘 Book I have found helpful:
🔗 These are affiliate links (small commission supports the channel at no extra cost to you):

Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft Based on over 30 years of work with abusive men and their families, this book explains how abuse often involves deliberately creating confusion and hiding harmful behaviour behind excuses. 👉 https://amzn.to/3YPOlrl

In Control: Dangerous Relationships and How They End in Murder by Jane Monckton Smith 👉 https://amzn.to/46k04CB

💛 Support the Channel
If my videos have helped you and you’d like to support this work, you can buy me a tea here:
👉 https://coff.ee/lightoverthebridge

This channel is for the women who need it most — and your support helps me keep creating free content. Thank you. 💛

📩 Contact (Support & Questions Only)
Do you need support or have a question related to the topics I talk about?
You can email me at: [email protected]

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⚠️ Disclaimer
The content on this channel is for educational purposes and survivor peer support only.
It is not a substitute for individual medical, mental health, legal advice, or personalised safety planning.
Please reach out to a qualified professional and/or local support services for personalised help, especially if you are in danger or unsure how to stay safe.
If you are in danger, contact your local domestic violence hotline, shelter, or emergency services.



#narcissisticabuse
#coercivecontrol
#emotionalabuse
#lifeafterabuse

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