Lost The War

Описание: This is a song about me winning all my medical battles, a literal miracle but I still can’t have the happily ever after I planned with the man I love. I fought through cancer, chemo, heart failure, a long coma, a heart transplant and he was one of my biggest sources of strength. I fought for a life with him but due to me being on immunosuppressants weakening my immune system it would be a risk to me and his infant daughter if we were to move forward with our plans.. and the mother or his child would gladly use it against him out of spite so we are no longer together and I know that’s the way it has to be but my heart is broken. 😘❤️😘💙😘

Lyrics:

Mm.. the war.. mmm

The nectar was toxic, the cure was a fire
It burned the cancer but snapped every wire
They poured in the poison to save me from death
But it strangled the muscle that gave me my breath
My heart became a casualty of a war I thought I’d won
Now I’m paying for the damage of everything done

These marks on my skin are a map of the fight
How I crawled back from the edge of the light
But scars only heal where skin has been torn
They don't give us back the lives we've sworn

I’m the girl who survived on a cocktail of grief
Where the poison was the only thing that offered relief
It killed off the sickness then it stopped my heart
Then gave me a new one just to keep us apart
I’m a medical victory, a survivor for sure
But the cure was the poison that lost me the war

The doctors are cheering, they say I’m whole
They mended the body but orphaned the soul
They call it a miracle, they call it a win
But I’m just a shell where a soul should have been.

They gave me this heart so I wouldn't go cold
But it’s a story of love that can never be told
It’s beating for me but it’s breaking for you
It’s the one thing the doctors couldn't see through
The labs are all normal, the levels are right
But I’m losing the war in the middle of the light
Yeah I’m still here
But I lost the war

It’s a win on the charts but it’s a life that I lose
My vitals are steady, the cancer is gone
But I’m walking through a world where I don't belong
Yeah, I won every battle
But I lost the war

I’m the girl who survived on a cocktail of grief
Where the poison was the only thing that offered relief
It killed off the sickness then it stopped my heart
Then gave me a new one just to keep us apart
I’m a medical victory, a survivor for sure
But the cure was the poison that lost me the war

Stitched together, but falling apart
A survivor’s life...
With a stranger’s heart.
I’m "back to life" or so they say
But life is the thing that’s in the way.

My pulse is strong.
But we’re gone.
We lost the war.