9. Imago Validation

Описание: The validation is carried out by the receiver after the summary.

Validation is the skill of showing your partner you can see things from their point of view.

You can see that they make sense and accept their perspective.

It’s not about agreeing. You never have to agree with your partner or share the same perspective.

That doesn’t get in the way of you validating them for their point of view.

When you validate your partner, you are giving them a precious gift.

You are demonstrating that you can see that there is no “right” or “wrong”, just different ways to see things.

We all crave validation, and many of us got very little validation as children.

Therefore being validated in the dialogue process can feel healing and connecting.

Let’s see it in the video.

I start the validation with “you make sense … and what makes sense is …”

Notice how I stay with what Joanna had said in her sends.

I didn’t bring other stuff in, and I didn’t make it about me.

If you find yourself saying “that makes sense because I think that too”, you’ve left your partners world and entered your own.

Keep the validation about your partner, not you.

You will roll the validation into the next stage, empathy which Joanna will talk about in the next video.

So watch that next.