How to Heal Abandonment Issues in the Body

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The reason you keep attracting emotionally unavailable, toxic, or narcissistic partners—and why you keep losing yourself in relationships—isn’t just a pattern in your mind. It’s a deep, unconscious force rooted in your body: your abandonment wound. If you overattach too soon, become obsessive about someone you’ve just started dating, or feel overly sensitive to changes in their behavior, you’re not just reacting to them—you’re reacting to unresolved abandonment trauma stored in your nervous system. This wound makes you seek connection in ways that leave you vulnerable to unhealthy relationships, causing you to self-abandon by people-pleasing, over-giving, or tolerating mistreatment just to feel wanted. Healing abandonment wounds isn’t about changing your thoughts; it’s about addressing the imprint of abandonment in your body.

Your core abandonment wound doesn’t live in your mind, so no amount of journaling, meditating, or reframing your negative beliefs will heal it. Traditional talk therapy can give you awareness, but it won’t resolve the deep, somatic imprint that keeps pulling you toward the same painful dynamics. The truth is, abandonment trauma healing must happen in your nervous system, where the wound was first created. This is why you can consciously recognize your patterns, know you deserve better, and still feel powerless to stop the pull toward unavailable or toxic partners. If you find yourself asking, Do you have abandonment issues? or Why do I keep attracting the same unhealthy relationships?—it’s because the wound is still active in your body, and your nervous system is wired to seek familiarity, even when it’s painful.

To truly heal abandonment wounds, you must go beyond intellectual understanding and into the body. Somatic healing techniques—such as nervous system regulation, breathwork, trauma-informed movement, and inner child work—help release the fear of abandonment at its root. The body has to experience safety, self-worth, and love for these patterns to shift. When you heal abandonment wounds at the nervous system level, you stop feeling magnetized to toxic partners, and you no longer self-abandon when you fall for someone. Healing is possible, but it starts with addressing the core wound where it actually lives—not in your thoughts, but in your body. If you’re ready for abandonment wound healing, it’s time to stop seeking answers in your mind and start working with your nervous system.


In my years as a self love coach, I’ve guided my clients from every possible heartbreaking scenario and breakup, and given them the tools they need to heal their trauma and learn the discipline of self love, so they can embody their most true, authentic and confident self!

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