Cedarheart \\ REAS DESC ))

Описание: Cedarhearts pov:

I hate her.
I hate how she always lights up the room, even when she's not trying. How her hazel eyes sparkle like stars on a cloudless night. How she always knows what to say, what to do, how to be. Almondpaw is perfect. She always has been. Everyone looks at her as if she is somehow bigger than everyone else. And our parents, MoonSpring and Cheetahtail, love her more than me. I've always known that and it's so unfair. I am also their son. Why can't they see me the same way?
We have always dreamed of becoming medicine cats, both of us. We both felt connected to StarClan and we both worked hard to learn everything we could about healing. But when StarClan finally chose, it wasn't me they were looking at. No, it was Almondpaw. StarClan spoke to her as if she were their chosen one. I saw how the whole clan cheered for her, how they proudly called her "the new medicine cat".
I couldn't bear it. How could they choose her when she already had everything? She was so beautiful, so perfect, so... unattainable. I was just Cedarheart, always in her shadow, always the one who was never good enough. They saw me as a good cat, but they saw Almondpaw as something more.
Every time they said her name, it felt like a stab in my chest. They loved her more than me. They trusted her more than me. And they were to be trusted upon her with the lives of the whole clan. StarClan had made their choice and I was just... Cedarheart.
But no one understood how I felt. Not until it was too late.
I could no longer just stand and watch. I couldn't just let her win, let her be the one who always got all the attention, all the respect. I had waited so long for my turn, and now it was too late. What did she have that I didn't? I didn't want her to be the one everyone looked up to, the one who got the clan's admiration. I was supposed to be the medicine cat, not her.
So I did it. I waited until she was alone, out in the woods by the oak, where she used to go to find peace. I knew she always felt strongest there, as if StarClan was with her. I knew she trusted me, that she always had. But that's when I took the plunge.
I didn't hear her last scream. I can't remember if she shouted or not. All I remember is the cold silence afterwards, and the warm, thick feeling of blood on my paws. I stood there, my fur sticky and my heart like a heavy, black stone in my chest. I knew what I had done and I knew there could be no going back.
I had to make sure no one knew. I couldn't let it be known that it was me. I couldn't let everyone know what I had done to my own sister. So I ran back to camp and told them that StarClan had chosen me. They believed me. They had always believed in me, and they trusted me. No one would ask questions. I was the one who had gained their trust and they had no choice but to accept me as the new medicine cat.
But every time I look up at the stars, I see the face of Almond Island. They are her eyes, the hazel-colored stars that always shone brighter than mine. I can't escape it. I cannot escape the darkness that has begun to eat me up from within. I'm killing myself with every lie I tell, every action I take to keep up the facade.
I'm a medicine cat now. I will be the one who heals, the one who leads the clan with wisdom and strength. I will be the one to receive StarClan's blessing. But in my heart I know the truth. I'm a killer.
And I can never escape it.