How to Build Self-Worth as a Parent and Stop Seeking External Validation

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Walking on Eggshells in Your Own Home?

Do you ever feel like you’re walking on eggshells around your own child?
Afraid that one wrong word will traumatize them for life?

In this powerful first episode of a three-part series, I sit down with Chagit Zelcer, master counselor in the Sheffer approach and translator of the groundbreaking book Trust Yourself, Trust Your Child by Dikla Yosefsberg.

Together, we explore why so many modern parents feel:
Overwhelmed with guilt
Afraid of “doing it wrong”
Constantly second-guessing themselves
Dependent on outside validation
Unsure of their authority
And most importantly — how to rebuild trust in yourself as a parent.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode
1. Why the Mainstream Parenting Model Is Failing
We discuss how modern psychological culture — with its fear of trauma and obsession with “doing it right” — has unintentionally weakened parents’ confidence.
If parenting advice is supposed to help, why are parents more anxious than ever?

2. The Difference Between an “Approach” and a “Method”
The Sheffer approach is not a technique or behavior strategy.
It’s a shift in perspective.

Instead of trying to fix the child’s behavior, we learn to understand and shift the parent-child dynamics — because when one gear moves, the other moves too.

3. The Pyramid Turned Upside Down
Modern homes often operate like inverted pyramids:
Children lead.
Parents react.
Authority feels fragile.
We discuss how democracy — beautiful in society — has been misplaced inside the family structure.

Everyone may have equal value.
But roles are not equal.
When roles become confused, anxiety rises — for both parents and children.

4. Why Parents Have Lost Confidence
Two major cultural forces have undermined parental authority:
The fear of traumatizing our children.
The belief that authority equals oppression.
We unpack how these ideas have slowly eroded parents’ natural leadership.

5. Trusting Yourself Isn’t About “Believing” — It’s About Knowing
A powerful distinction from the episode:
Trust isn’t abstract belief.
It’s knowing.

Like knowing your child won’t argue about sitting in the driver’s seat — some things are simply given.
The less you have to declare your authority, the stronger it is.

6. There Is No “Good Parent If…”
Modern culture created endless conditions for being a “good parent.”
The Schaeffer approach removes the conditions.
There are no hoops to jump through.
Your authority is not earned.
It is given.

Key Takeaways
Confidence in parenting comes from clarity of role.
Children feel safest when parents lead.
Authority does not contradict love — it supports it.
You don’t need more techniques.
You need to remove the false beliefs that are undermining you.

Reflection Questions
Where do you feel unsure in your authority at home?
What beliefs have you adopted about trauma or children’s rights that may be weakening your leadership?
In what areas of your home do you already “know” — without needing to explain yourself?

About My Guest

Chagit Zelcer is a master counselor in the Sheffer approach and the English translator of Trust Yourself, Trust Your Child by Dikla Yosefsberg. She has been teaching and guiding parents for over 15 years through workshops and private consultations.

This is Part 1 of a three-part series exploring how to turn the parenting pyramid back upright — and how to step into calm, confident leadership in your home.

Make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss Parts 2 and 3.

If this episode resonated with you, share it with another parent who needs to hear this message.

And let me know in the comments:
What belief has most undermined your confidence as a parent?

00:00 Introduction to the Scheffer Approach
05:08 Understanding the Dynamics of Parenting
11:14 Regaining Trust in Parenting
15:59 Authority and Confidence in Parenting
21:52 The Concept of Belonging in Parenting


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