Crime Tierlist

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Crime Tierlist Transcript:
Today we are going to be looking at crimes and putting them into a tierlist, we are going to be factoring in how cool you look doing the crime, the negative ramifications of said crime and what I propose the correct punishment for said crime should be, now to any governments out there watching this, I am available to work as a head of crime or chief prosecutor, so if you like what you hear you know how to reach me. Here are the Tiers for the tier list Standard S to D ranking, and as I rank them, im just going to tell you what I think the correct punishment should be for the crimes.
I think we should just start with the obvious one, and that is of course murder and of course, this is going to be going into the S tier. To murder someone is a very drastic action and also a very permanent one; you can't actually bring someone back to life after they have been murdered. You can also look hella cool being a murderer, serial killers even chase the infamy and reputation that often comes with being a serial killer. Now like men not all murders are created equal, sometimes murder can be righteous, other times not so much, but in the case of first degree murder I have to say that my punishment for this crime has to be the death penalty, I believe that recidivism for murder and other violent crimes such as these should always be 0 and there is only one way to ensure that the criminal cannot reoffend, even giving someone a life sentence in prison isnt going to guarantee no reoffending, for instance a meteor could hit the prison and they could escape. I am very much of the belief that there is a finite number of criminals and you can just start getting rid of them to reduce crime, sure if you kill one gang leader, another can take his place, but eventually run out of gang leaders, which will subsequently make society a better place to live in for everyone who isn't a gang leader. So I think it’s a pretty safe S-tier for the crime of murder, with the punishment being the death penalty. Next, we have child molestation, yeah man, just straight into it, obviously a D-tier crime, for a number of reasons, actually, think about it. With murder, at least people will say, “he just went in there and straight up murdered everybody, he's a cold-blooded killer, a psychopath.” You can't exactly get the same kind of infamy for being a chomo. No one is going around saying, “Did you see that guy? He just straight up touched all those kids, straight up moe lested them,” Yeah, no one is saying that. You are more likely to get thrown into a wood chipper. Also, with murder, at least the victim only has to suffer once, and then it ends. With molestation, however, that’s trauma, that’s going to change the trajectory of those kids' lives forever, not to mention that molested kids are significantly more likely to go on and molest other kids. Another reason why I think that it’s a D tier crime is the optics of the crime, just imagine you are talking with a friend and they tell you, “oh you know my uncle was a actually a murderer, yea we always knew he was a little crazy but we couldn’t have predicted he would straight up kill someone” and in turn you respond, “your uncle sounds kinda cool, all my uncle did was touch me inappropriately.” Yeah, society isn't exactly kind to male victims of this type of abuse; it's kind of been made into a joke actually. If I told my friends I got molested, there's a greater than 50% chance of them just laughing because they think I'm joking, terrible really. Anyway, all chomos get the death penalty, stop the cycle of abuse and prevent reoffending, and a deserved D-tier crime. Next up we have littering, now you might be thinking that’s a little bit of a step back, right? Well… I have some pretty strong opinions about people who litter. Littering is a D-tier crime but I think I am right in saying that the punishment for this should be the death penalty, or if possible, an assortment of cruel and unusual punishments that ultimately lead to the death penalty. I have a burning hatred for people who litter, it is the biggest sign of low intelligence, I literally cannot understand it, it only takes a couple people to completely ruin an entire area just by littering, I think people that litter should be struck with kinetic energy weapons, a one tonne steel javelin should fall from the heavens and dome you directly, instantly killing you, if you litter, if the government would promise to immediately kill anyone who decided to litter and said they would enforce it using mass surveillance, you know I might have to indulge them.