Pyramid of Intimacy: Truth, Safety, Trust, Vulnerability, and Intimacy - Part 2

Описание: In Part 1, we established that truth is the foundation of intimacy. But what happens when you get the facts, yet something still feels unsafe?

In this second half of my conversation with Dan Drake, we move beyond the "Content Truth" (the facts on the paper) and explore the critical concept of "Behavioral Truth", how your partner shows up in the process.

We discuss why a disclosure document delivered with resentment feels very different from one delivered with humility, and why consistency over time is the only way to rebuild genuine trust. We also tackle the "hot button" topic of polygraphs and how to prepare your nervous system for the days following a disclosure.

We talk about:
• Content vs. Behavioral Truth: Why "what" is shared matters, but "how" it is shared (emotional maturity vs. defensiveness) matters just as much for your safety.
• Boundaries as a Roadmap: Reframing boundaries not as punishments or control, but as a clear guide you are giving your partner on how to help you feel safe.
• The "Energy" of Recovery: Why "white-knuckling" compliant behavior eventually leads to resentment, and how to trust your gut when the energy feels off.
• Preparation and Aftercare: Treating disclosure like a "birth plan", having a strategy for the best scenarios, the worst scenarios, and the support you will need in the 72 hours after.
• The Polygraph Debate: Understanding the difference between a "fidelity polygraph" (verifying truth) and a forensic interrogation, and why it is a tool for validation rather than a "gotcha" moment.

This episode may be especially supportive if:
• You have received a disclosure, but still feel uneasy because your partner’s attitude feels defensive or unchecked.
• You are debating whether to use a polygraph and want to understand the benefits and limitations (it’s about 90% reliable, not perfect).
• You need permission to set up an "aftercare plan" that includes childcare, time off, or space to grieve.
• Your partner is refusing to disclose, and you are trying to determine what that means for the future of your relationship.

As Dan shares, disclosure is like resetting a broken bone that healed incorrectly: it is painful to re-break it, but it is the only way to ensure it heals straight and strong.

Listen in for the practical wisdom you need to navigate the complexities of truth, safety, and the days that follow.

Meet the Guest: Dan Drake
Dan Drake is a licensed clinician and the Founder and Clinical Director of Banyan Therapy Group in Los Angeles, California. He is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist Supervisor, a Certified Clinical Partner Specialist Supervisor, and a Certified Clinical Disclosure Guide Mentor.

He is the co-author of several books, including Building True Intimacy: Creating a Connection that Stands the Test of Time, and five books in the Full Disclosure series, covering topics like Letters from a Sex Addict, My Life Exposed, Surviving the Holidays, Healthy Boundaries, and Rebuilding Your Foundation.

Dan is a husband and a father to two amazing kids and two fur babies. In his passion to help sex addicts, their partners, and families restore relational, mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual wholeness to their lives, Dan strives to provide a safe environment where his clients can grow and heal.

Dan's Website - www.banyantherapy.com
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