Real—A Spoken Word Poem on Depersonalization

Описание: I'm kind of a mess in this one but I'm gonna pretend it's a part of the aesthetic.

Words, more or less:
Real—A Slam Poem About Depersonalization
Lemme de-personalize, some personal lies
I tell myself as I lie in bed every night
That I'm not here
or if I'm here I'm only here for a few minutes
and when I'm here I wanna
Drown myself out in Guinness
Here's my weakness
That I freely admit
I find it difficult to freely exist
I may as well be dreaming
I don't even feel this
All of the time, am I asleep
Or depersonalized
What do I mean when I say I
I don’t feel like a human I feel like a disguise
Is I just eye plus ear plus mind
What makes you human
Is a sum of your memory
Reality is nothing but experience sequentially
Your taste and your touch and your sight and your thought
All mixed together in a melting pot
And we tell ourselves that these
Stimulants and memories create identities
I dunno if these Identities
Make up me
Or if I make them up, see
Some of these
Identities
Get stronger as you grow up
But some minds aren't strong all the time
And stress makes a mess of what we know
Uh

I am not myself
Cause I do not know myself
All I know is myself
Is not a wealth of mental health
Myself is a puzzle collecting dust on a shelf
A jigsaw puzzle I’m afraid to take out
Cause it’s missing some pieces
Every morning I wake up and try to match the creases
Together and whatever I do
The pieces fall apart as I move
A corner piece I lose, a side piece too, a center piece
Like a legless centipede I've lost my centerpiece
There can be no peace when this loss doesn't cease
Call a ceasefire cause my brain gets tired too easily
And I can't fix the problems of society
If I can't even piece together what's inside of me
Society's inside of me I'm inside society
I want to be here you see
But you don't hear or see me
And I understand
Sometimes all the puzzle pieces are there, the end!
But most of the time
I have to lie to myself
And just pretend
Imaginary pieces filling in the spaces
Imagine One where my heart is one where my brain is

I want to,
I want to,
I want like you do
I want too.
So why does reality feel like a dream to me
Why can't I deal with ambiguity
Like everyone around me
I wanna feel real
I want my wants to feel real
I wanna be alive
But I die
From this Achilles' heal
I want my head to stop spinning
Put a stick in that wheel

Is that too real
Have I said much too much on how I feel
Lemme de
Personalize

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