Guilty Gear XX

Описание: I got into Guilty Gear just recently this year, so I'm not exactly good at it (Despite having beaten Guilty Gear 1 on PSone and GG Accent Core on Wii). that said though, I figured I'd cover the more easily available PC port of Guilty Gear X2. Or rather, Guilty Gear XX Reload: The Midnight Carnival. Fucking hell, Aksys is doing to this what Capcom did to Street Fighter 2. It doesn't help that a once plausible story's gone out of wack. Anyway the Instant Kill mechanic involves pressing a button to go into a super mode and then pressing a QCF and Hard Slash input (Except for May)

Anyway I'm not gonna bore you with anything except what the Instant Kills are like.

Sol: Napalm Death. He jumps at you while on fire. Pretty metal. I bet Emil Castagnier would be much better with a Napalm Death as his Mystic Arte. This one's useful due to his acceptable range.

Ky: Rising Force. He JUST POKES YOU. IT has short range, so its unreliable. Adn we can't have Zwei Voltage back because?

Slayer: All Dead. Punches you into ANOTHER GODDAMN GALAXY. Then he reads a Haiku (A Japanese poem style). Its easy to use.

May: May And The Jellyfish Pirates: May's summons the entire Johnny Fleet Militant Corps (Composing of Boobie Ladies) who walk all over the opponent, before they get crushed by a fattie. May's Instant Kill has its own unique input for some reason. Its a grab so its kinda tough to use. also am I the only one who liked "Unidentified Child" more than "Blue Water"?

Axl: Midair Chains: Easy to avoid since the chains snake along the ground so oyu can jump them. Anyway, Axl summons an army of chains which ensnare you and EXPLODE WITH OYU IN THEM. I wish Axl had his old GG1 costume back though that looked gnarly.

Anji: Zetsu: Anji rides a white dragon which hits you for massive damage. ITs quick and efficient so I say use it if oyu can. Plus Anji looks like the lovechild of a Japanophile, Kitana and Otacon/Harry Potter.

Bacon/Baiken: Every Samurai Movie Used This Cliche And So Can I: You know those old Samurai anime where the hero runs through the baddie and after a tense few seconds they fall down dead? Thats htis in a nutshell.

Zato: Black In Mind: I don't get it. He shows them a hawt lady which turns into a skull. Why can't he have his old GG1 Instant Kill again? And fuck you I'm calling him Zato.

Dizzy: gamma Ray. Yyyyyyyyyeah, since she doesn't get in Instant Kill til Accent Core, I might as well just show her equally hurtful Gamma Ray move, freshly nicked from Justice to the point people think DIZZY did Gamma Ray first. Fucking idiots...and tropers.

Zappa: Do You Like Scary Movies?: Zappa makes you watch a crappy horror B-Movie. Gotta be better than Seltzerburger. Kidna crap since you really gotta be up close, so don't use it at all.

Millia: Iron Maiden: After a bunch of hair molests you, more of it crushes you. My friend, TitaniumTyger/Hereaaaa LOVES Millia. This hits anywhere on the ground.

Chipp: GLORY TO TEH DARK LORD SATAN. Chipp kills you with A FLAMING PENTAGRAM. HES A FUCKING SATANIST, AN AMERICAN JAPANOPHILE NINJA SATANIST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I-NO: Last Rites. I can't really describe it as anything other than I-No ROCKS THE FUCK OUT. It has short hit range though.

Testament: Seventh Sign. Places you on a nice bed while a hawt blue lady stabs you. Qucik, efficient, sexy adn bloody. Nice combo that. Plus its hit range is respectable.

Faust: Oh Dear!. He puts you on an operating bed AND THEN FUCKING NUKES YOU. Nie hit range too since he's huge. Also did you know he used to be Dr Baldhead?

Jammed Jam: GasenKotsu: If it hits you get to see a cute animation with lots of panty shots. Also can anyone tell me how to do that bed move with AOAO's Jam?

Potemkin: Magnum Opera: After breaking his restraining bolt, FALCON PAAAAAAWWWWWNCH. Also can we have "In Slave's Glory" back? Needs to be close range but since Potemkin's huge...

Venom: Deimvolger: HE turns you into a ball and kills oyu with the power of snooker. SNOOKERING YOU, SNOOKERING YOU TONIGHT BIG BREAK

Norio Wakamoto/Johnny: Joker TRick. Anything Wakamoto does is fatal. Fuck Johnny Yong Bosch. this one's a nice long range one though not with high vertical range.

Bridget: Shoot The Moon. Yes, your erection means you're gay

Robo-Ky: Ky-dan. I love this one. After slashing you he sits on a chair, vomits out four mini-Robo-Kys, and they lift you into teh air and EXPLODE YOU.

Kliff: Demon Murderer: Can't really tell. I think he slaps the earth so hard a demon pops out.

Justice: X Laser. People, its MOTHERFUCKING JUSTICE. Anything she does will kill you. Anyway, she flies up into space with you in her arms and SPLITS YOU INTO AN INDETERMINABLE AMOUNT OF ATOMS GOOD GRAVY. Plus it has some good range. Now oyu see why they keep removing Justice in most GG games. Fuck I-NO and Dizzy, we want Justice back.