chronicly ahead of time... in the wrong direction

Описание: Verse 1
I made a list of goals while sipping on my tea,
I said “Next year I’ll crush it!”—then future-me said “We’ll see…”
But future-me betrayed me, like a cat who stole my cheese,
Now present-me is staring at a calendar that screams “Please!”

Verse 2
Back in twenty-twenty-two I said “Next year’s gonna shine!”
But twenty-three was busy—Netflix stole all my time!
Then twenty-four rolled in like “Hey buddy, what’s the plan?”
I blinked and it was gone—like socks in a laundry van!

Chorus
🎤 I’m a legend! I’m a hero!
I push deadlines to year zero!
I’m achieving!… well… eventually!
I’m the master of delay,
I’ll succeed—just… not today!
Put it on the list for twenty-twenty-six! Wohooo!

Verse 3
Twenty-five was gonna be the year that changed it all,
I bought planners, pens, and stickers shaped like confetti balls.
But reality stood waiting with a smirk upon its face—
And whispered, “Buddy… sit down. We need to talk about grace.”

Verse 4
Those goals waved at me softly like sweet tourists on a boat,
Then they sailed off for the winter while I zipped up my coat.
By New Year’s Eve I shouted “To the future! Let’s be bold!”
But my champagne was judging me… it knows the truth untold.

Chorus
🎤 I’m a legend! I’m a hero!
I push deadlines to year zero!
I’m achieving!… well… eventually!
I’m the master of delay,
I’ll succeed—just… not today!
Put it on the list for twenty-twenty-six! Wohooo!

Verse 5
Now twenty-six is coming like a gym coach in a hat,
Screaming “DROP AND GIVE ME PROGRESS!” and I’m like “Let’s not do that…”
I pretend to stretch my muscles—really just adjusting socks,
While my calendar is glaring like a father checking clocks.

Verse 6
So here I stand—determined! (or at least I think I am),
With five years’ worth of goals piled up like strawberry jam.
I’ll slap them on some toast and call it “Meal Prep of the Soul,”
Then eat it while I promise “Tomorrow I’ll enroll!”

Chorus
🎤 I’m a legend! I’m a hero!
I push deadlines to year zero!
I’m achieving!… well… eventually!
I’m the master of delay,
I’ll succeed—just… not today!
Put it on the list for twenty-twenty-six! Wohooo!

Verse 7
And when I finally make it—(maybe seventy years late),
The historian will document my chronically shifting fate.
They’ll write textbooks on my journey through the Kingdom of Postpone,
Where goals go to retire and calendars are thrown.

Bridge (emotional but unbothered)
🎤 But it’s okay, we’re all just tryin’…
Procrastination is just cryin’…
In a hammock with a smoothie…
While deadlines are shoutin’ “DO ME!”

Verse 8
So to anyone out there with ambitions in a drawer—
You’re not failing, you’re just pacing for the year two-thousand-four.
We’ll meet there with achievements, medals, trophies, and some snacks,
Because greatness takes a minute… or like… twelve years, give or take.