JEFFERSON FISHER: Staying Grounded When Tensions Rise

Описание: If your conversations are starting to feel more like combat, you’re not alone. In this powerful episode, Michael and Megan sit down with Jefferson Fisher—trial attorney, social media sensation, and author of The Next Conversation—to talk about the small shifts that create major breakthroughs in communication. From regulating your nervous system to choosing connection over triumph, this episode is packed with practical, actionable tools you can use today.

Memorable Quotes
1. “When you set out to win an argument, you often will lose the relationship. If you only see it as something to win, that means you’re going to lose a lot more.”
2. “Who wants to be around the person who always has to be right? That is somebody who is lonely.”
3. “Instead of seeing arguments as something to win, you see them as something to unravel.”
4. “You don’t have to like it. You just gotta understand it.”
5. “That’s the key with connection: I can disagree with you and still connect with you. I can still be unhappy, I can still be mad at you, and still connect with you.”
6. “You are in complete control of the pace of the conversation.”
7. “When you don’t say it with control, you end up reacting rather than responding. It’s just your natural fight or flight will take over and you’re going to start responding more emotionally.”
8. “You gotta let them pour it all out before they’ll ever be willing to accept anything that you say.”

Key Takeaways
1. Arguments Aren’t Battles. If your goal is to win, you’ve already lost. Reframe arguments as something to unravel, not conquer.
2. Start With Self-Control. Nervous system regulation is the key to effective communication—especially when things get tense.
3. Use “Small Talks.” Short, verb-based phrases like “be still” or “practice kindness” can center you in high-stakes conversations.
4. Connection Over Agreement. We don’t always have to be on the same page to cultivate a meaningful relationship.
5. Confidence Follows Action. Speak with assertiveness, not apology. Confidence grows as you use your voice.

Resources
The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More: (https://www.amazon.com/Next-Conversat...)
Jefferson Fisher on Instagram: (  / jefferson_fisher  )
The Jefferson Fisher Podcast: (https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/podcast)

Chapter Markers
00:00 - Episode Start
00:13 - Jefferson Intro
05:32 - Jefferson's Story
12:51 - Never win an argument
19:34 - The difference between winning and argument and persuading
22:45 - Control in context of communication
30:04 - Framework to stay self aware
36:14 - Holding space (being quiet)
38:04 - Handling disagreements at home
42:23 - Confidence
51:02 - Where did the name of the book come from?
52:49 - Three Questions
56:34 - Post Interview Discussion

This video was produced by Michael Trigo of VW Sound