Wrong Kind of Angel

Описание: An original song by Avud. I hope you enjoy and keep those dear, close to your heart always.

lyrics

Fluorescent buzz
Plastic chairs
You cracked a joke
Like you owned the air
Paper cups
For shaking hands
We played card games
Til they changed the plan

You said
"They call it broken"
I said
"Guess that makes us art"
You stole a pen
Drew lightning on my scars
Said
"Here
Now you’re marked"

You were the wrong kind of angel for this place
Laughing in the dark
Cursing at the guards
You held my wrists when I tried to disappear
Said
"Stay
You stubborn heart"
"You don’t get to fall apart"
You were the greatest friend I never got to keep
And I keep losing you
In the corners of my sleep

Group room circle
Counting breaths
You rolled your eyes
At the word "progress"
Stared down nurses
Til they laughed
You’d take their questions
Turn them back

We traded files like secrets
Diagnoses like fake names
You said
"They’ll call this childhood"
I said
"Feels more like a cage"
You grinned
"We’ll burn the page"

You were the wrong kind of angel for this place
Laughing in the dark
Cursing at the guards
You held my wrists when I tried to disappear
Said
"Stay
You stubborn heart"
"You don’t get to fall apart"
You were the greatest friend I never got to keep
And I keep losing you
In the corners of my sleep

Some days your face is sharp as glass
Your hoodie
Your hospital socks
We’re racing wheelchairs down the hall
Dodging clipboards
Locked doors
Clocks

Some days you’re just
A laugh with no mouth
A shadow at my side
I call your name
It comes out dust
Like I dreamed you
Like I lied

They called my house
One quiet noon
Said your heart
Had left too soon
It’s just a sentence
But it split my spine
I smashed your drawing
Then traced every line

Now every time I crumble
I still hear your wicked dare
"You can haunt this world
You know
Or you can fight it
Wreck it
Wear
Your damage like a flare"

You were the wrong kind of angel for this place
Laughing in the dark
Cursing at the guards
You held my wrists when I tried to disappear
Said
"Stay
You stubborn heart"
"You don’t get to fall apart"
You were the greatest friend I never got to keep
And I keep losing you
In the corners of my sleep

But when the floor gives way
And the old thoughts roar
I feel your hand on my shoulder
In that same white ward

You were the wrong kind of angel
And I’m still here
So I carry your chaos
Through every year (oh)
I carry your chaos
I keep you near