My Journey Into Truth

Описание: TMON-106: The Myth of Normal, Chapter 31, "Song" 1
Alex Hickey ©2025
Click "More" and SCROLL DOWN FOR WORDS!

This song is based on information in Chapter 31 of The Myth of Normal, a book written by Dr. Gabor Maté with Daniel Maté. You can find more information about this book on Dr. Maté's website: https://drgabormate.com/book/the-myth...

I am writing a series of songs in response to the ideas in this book, sometimes in combination with ideas from other books by Dr. Maté and some of his colleagues.

These are my interpretations of these ideas. I acknowledge that I can make mistakes, misunderstand and/or take poetic license when transforming these ideas into songs. I welcome questions in the comments section and refer you to the book itself as the final authority about what it is saying.

Text:
Let me tell you the story of a journey into
The jungles of Peru
Where I travelled deep within the
Secrets of my heart and far beyond

I went to lead a workshop with
A group of western healers
At night: ayahuasca + shamans
In the daytime, I would lead
Compassionate Inquiries

I seem to have a gift
For extracting the gems
Of Truth and revelation
That are given by the medicine,
by ceremony
For others, never for myself.

On the way there
I slogged through the mud
My boots got stuck
I was righted time and again
By small-in-stature, true-hearted Shipibo men

I took the medicine the first night
With everyone else
And experienced the same stubborn resistance
I always felt – my spirit refusing to relinquish control

Standing guard by a locked door
That would let in no good, no god, no change

The next day, a delegation
Came to me – the owner of the retreat,
Two shamans and an interpreter

They told me, no
You cannot be here.
Your dark energy
Blocks our work
You cannot be in our
Ceremonies, or help these people

You yourself are sick + need healing

Shock and a bruised ego met this communication
But they knew me, these shamans
Though they had never heard my name or learned my story
They said, “You bear the burdens you have lifted
From others’ shoulders over years of healing work and you bear also an early hurt – a very big scare that you suffered

And I heard them and could see they were right.

From then on, I stayed separate from the others,
Days in reflection, nights in ceremony,
nothing budging through 5 evenings of ayahuasca and chanting
Only then, when I thought I was done,
My guard lowered, I was thrown to the ground by the medicine.
Flat on the ground by the medicine.

There I lay
Two hours, they say
Prone upon the earth
Held to what is solid, real
While I travelled to what is intangible and true
I cannot begin to tell you
What I felt
I cannot articulate
What happened to me

They say I was communing
With God

They sat vigil with me
My guides who had called me out
Who showed me how
Weighted down I had become
With my own old burdens
And many more I had taken on.
And never released.

What happened there?
Transcendent joy
That lies beyond all explanation.

What I can share is a single word,
In my mother tongue
In Hungarian: BOLDOG
This means “happy”
I saw it painted
In wispy, white clouds,
On a blue sky

And felt
Spacious
Aware
Whole and free from self-concern
Connected to something
Beyond
Something mysterious
Transcendent
Awesome.