Why Calm Feels Wrong and Planning Feels Unsafe (Trauma Explained)

Описание: If you struggle to make plans or imagine the future, this video is for you.

“Can’t make plans” is often labeled as avoidance or a red flag, but from a trauma-informed lens, it’s frequently a nervous system adaptation, not a character flaw.

Planning requires a felt sense of safety in the future.
If your system learned that the future was unpredictable, staying flexible may have been how you stayed safe.

In this video, I explain:
00:00 The “can’t make plans” red flag
Why this behavior is often misunderstood

00:22 Planning requires future safety
What planning actually asks of the nervous system

00:52 How unpredictability shapes this response
Why flexibility becomes protective in childhood

01:34 When the nervous system doesn’t update
Knowing you’re safe vs feeling safe

02:16 When safety feels boring
Why calm can feel wrong or suspicious

02:39 “This can’t be real, what’s going to happen next?” And feeling stuck when things are calm.
Expectation of threat after calm… How freeze and bracing show up

02:52 The mismatch between logic and trauma
“I know I’m safe, but my body doesn’t believe it”

03:21 How to work with this pattern
Learning instead of forcing

03:34 Practical nervous-system steps
Planning closer in time, building exits, tracking sensations

05:29 This isn’t a flaw
Why this made sense in the last and how it can change now


This isn’t about pushing through.
It’s about helping your nervous system update.