How can I help support a grieving child?

Описание: How can I help support a grieving child? A short guidance film from Child Bereavement UK.

Adults often ask us “What can I do to help support my grieving child?” Here are a few things that can help you understand a child’s needs when someone important to them has died.

Remember grief is normal
It’s important to recognise that grieving is a completely normal response to death. With sensitive support and care from family, friends and school, most children won’t need professional help.

Be honest
It is natural for an adult to want to protect a child from conversations and information which may seem upsetting. But children are generally much more able to deal with difficult truths than we may think, as long as they are told in an age-appropriate way, in language they can understand.

Answer questions
It is helpful to reassure a child that it’s OK to ask questions. Be prepared to answer their questions about what happened and what is happening. Bereaved children tell us they need adults to give them clear, honest and unambiguous information.

Check your child’s understanding
Children can be literal, so check what your child understands. Phrases like ‘heart attack’ may not mean the same to them as to you. Try to use the correct words such as dead or died, and avoid using phrases such as ‘lost’ or ‘gone to sleep’ which can be confusing to children who can take things literally.

Keep to daily routines
Children can feel out of control and scared when someone close to them dies. Daily routines and structures help them to feel more secure. Try to keep to these routines as much as possible if you can.

Communicate
Children can feel overwhelmed by strong emotions and may not feel able to express them. Talking is only one way of expressing feelings. Doing a workbook together, making a memory jar or just going for a walk can help to alleviate the pressure, and give your child space to express their thoughts and feelings.

Allow anger
Let your child know that it is normal to feel angry when someone has died. Give them safe ways to release that anger – such as bashing a cushion or going outside to shout very loudly – but let them know it’s not OK to hurt themselves or anyone else.

Share your feelings
Your child needs you to be a model, not a hero. Share your feelings with your child. Demonstrate that it is ok to show sadness. If you are open, your child will be able to share their feelings too.
If you are caring for or concerned about a bereaved child and need more guidance, please call our helpline on 0800 02 888 40.

Child Bereavement UK provides confidential support, information and guidance to individuals, families and professionals throughout the UK. Our Helpline team is available to respond to calls, emails and Live Chat via our website 9am – 4.30pm, Monday to Friday.

0800 02 888 40
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childbereavementuk.org

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