The Psychology of Raising Emotionally Healthy Boys with Dr. Daniel Singley

Описание: In this thoughtful and often funny conversation, Dr. Daniel Singley—founder of The Center for Men’s Excellence and creator of MenExcel—joins Shaun to unpack what it really means to raise emotionally healthy boys in a rapidly changing world. Together, they explore how traditional models of masculinity can evolve without abandoning strength, why fatherhood is the “tip of the spear” for redefining what it means to be a man, and how dads can model emotional resilience and connection in everyday life.


Dr. Singley shares evidence-based insights on the transition from “dude to dad,” the power of emotional flexibility, and the importance of community for fathers. This episode is a practical and deeply human look at how we can raise sons—and become men—of both heart and strength.


Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

1. Masculinity isn’t under attack—it’s under construction. Healthy masculinity requires flexibility, not rigidity; the ability to be strong in some contexts and empathetic in others.
2. Fatherhood is the frontline of modern manhood. Early involvement during pregnancy and infancy predicts stronger emotional connection, better outcomes for children, and greater well-being for fathers.
3. Emotional literacy is courage, not weakness. When fathers model emotional awareness—naming their feelings, owning their mistakes—they teach their sons that vulnerability is strength.
4. Community is critical for men’s mental health. Isolation is as damaging as smoking a pack a day; fathers need intentional friendships and spaces to be honest with other dads.
5. Kindness is strength. Dr. Singley’s parting message: “Have the strength to be kind”—because cruelty often stems from fear, and choosing compassion is an act of real courage.


Timestamps / Chapter Markers




00:00 Introduction: Cultivating Strength and Sensitivity in Raising Boys


01:18 Dr. Singley's Journey: Why Study the Psychology of Men and Fatherhood?


03:08 The Consequence of Ignoring Cisgender Masculinity in Academia


05:33 The Rising Tide: Empowering Men and Boys Doesn't Harm Other Genders


06:55 Is Masculinity a Problem? Under Attack or Under Construction?


07:54 The Core Issue: Rigidity in Traditional Masculine Roles


09:11 The Benefits of Flexibility: Longevity, Relationships, and Mental Health


10:45 Addressing the Pushback: The "Pacification of the American Male"


13:43 Finding a Balanced Vision: Serving Yourself vs. Holding Yourself Back


16:39 Workplace Benefits of Balanced Masculinity (Strengths with Heart)


18:22 The "Fair Play" Card Exercise and Its Role in Domestic Roles


20:21 Early Fatherhood: Why It's the "Tip of the Spear" for Contemporary Masculinity


23:46 Fatherhood as an Opportunity to Cultivate Caregiving Muscles


25:40 Key Predictors for Father Involvement: Pregnancy and Co-Parent Support


27:48 The Vicious/Virtuous Cycle of Co-Parenting Support


29:04 Shaun's Story: The "No Divorce for a Year" Deal


31:17 Shaun's Story: Catching Inflexibility in Action (Kissing His Son)


32:22 Equating Physicality with Sexuality (and Its Impact on Parenting)


34:10 Parenting with Intention: Be Thoughtful, Not on Autopilot


36:24 Practical Tools: The 10-Year Vision and Modeling Behavior


38:20 The Greatest Gift: Owning Mistakes and Naming Underlying Emotions


41:30 Upgrading Your OS: Why Flexibility is Essential for Modern Men


42:59 Navigating the Extremes: The Paradox of Ideological Purity


47:10 Reflections on Fatherhood: What Dr. Singley Did Right


49:27 The One Step: Overcoming Isolation and Building Community


51:13 The Hidden Danger: Loneliness and the Anxiety of "Bro-Dating"


54:41 Closing Principle: Have the Strength to Be Kind


56:16 Outro and Conclusion


Supporting Content & References


Center for Men’s Excellence – Dr. Singley’s organization focused on men’s mental health and father-inclusive psychology  https://www.menexcel.com
American Psychological Association, Division 51: Society for the Psychological Study of Men and Masculinity** https://www.apa.org/about/division/div51
Fair Play by Eve Rodsky – referenced for practical tools in balancing domestic roles https://www.fairplaylife.com
Strengths with Heart by Tom Rath (referenced in discussion on leadership and empathy) https://www.strengthswithheart.com
US Surgeon General’s Report on Loneliness and Social Isolation (2023)** – cited in Dr. Singley’s point about community and health https://www.hhs.gov/surgeongeneral/pr...