Conflict in couples over corona anxiety – Couples Coping 3

Описание: Two therapists in conversation reflect on how anxiety about the virus can create conflict – when one partner gets comfort by talking and making plans about the virus and the other tries to cope by not talking. We use our understanding of attachment patterns to show how the couple can polarise between pursuer and withdrawer roles. We explain attachment coping mechanisms of avoidant and preoccupied. We reflect on the attachment bond between couples and how this is impacted by lockdown for corona virus. We illustrate how hidden vulnerable feelings can drive conflict, often with a critical pattern in one partner and a stonewalling pattern in the other.

We explore struggles with the ordinary in having more time together, self and identity, self-judgement and acceptance, disillusionment and disappointment. We acknowledge the fears many have that they have married the wrong one.

We use our understanding of attachment patterns to highlight coping mechanisms and how the couple when vulnerable can polarise between preoccupied/pursuer and avoidant/withdrawer roles, between an overwhelmed, anxious, angry, critical and complaining amplifier and a dismissive minimiser. We reflect on how fear impacts on a couple’s ability for closeness and connection, care-giving and care-seeking patterns. We explore issues of hope and false hope, closeness and distancing, denial and feelings of shame evoked during any couple crisis but in particular during the corona virus. We reflect on how the avoidant partner can be driven by denial and be drawn to behave in ways which are devaluing, dismissive and controlling and how this can trigger and provoke the ambivalent preoccupied spouse.

We reflect on the attachment relationship between husband and wife and civil partners and how this bond is impacted by lockdown for corona virus. We illustrate how hidden vulnerable feelings can drive rows and conflict, often with a critical pattern in one partner and a stonewalling pattern in the other. We hope that the video helps couples who are struggling with Covid-19 and the challenges it brings.
We hope that the video helps couples who are struggling with Covid-19 and the conflict and rows it can cause.