Story Time: Aging

Описание: There are supposedly two certainties in life: death, and taxes.

Well, I’m closer to the former than I used to be (I mean, I suppose it could happen at any time, but strictly biologically speaking, I’m nearing the end), and guess what happens on the way to dying?

You fall apart.

Your back aches, your knees hurt, your eyesight goes…

(Yeah, I wear glasses for night driving now, and I’ve bumped the text on my phone up a notch. First time I’ve ever done that.)

What I never expected was to have my teeth crumble while chewing, and to fall apart so painlessly that I didn’t even notice.

Seriously, absolutely zero pain when this happened, either time.

Still, growing old blows.

I’m almost elderly, and if this is where I’m at now, I’m not looking forward to what happens to my human form next.

Do limbs fall off?

Do eyes fall out?

I’m already combating a belly that I never used to have, and it blows goats.

There’s a saying, “Youth is wasted on the young.”

I never agreed with that more than when I started getting old.

If I could put the wisdom I have now into my age 20 body? I’d have been a God.

(If you’re wondering, the “wisdom” is that I don’t know anything. When I was 20, I knew everything. Now I realize I don’t know nuthin.)

Wait, does that mean my mind has gone as well?

Oh, it’s all over.

Call hospice, this fella needs elderly care.

#dentist #funny #truestory #storytime #teeth #aging #elderly #old