Rich Litvin: "Say What No One Else Will" Tough-Love Coaching Framework Triggers Breakthroughs (Quote

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Rich Litvin: "Say What No One Else Will": Tough-Love Coaching Framework Triggers Breakthroughs (Quote)



Rich Litvin once said something that should probably be on the bathroom mirror for every coach. Show your clients what they cannot see. Say to your clients what no one else would dare to say. A little scary to think about. It's bolded, but it's true either in this lesson the hard way. When I coached the Dean of Master Coach University, then after the session was over, I confessed something else.
I didn't wanna say. A, during the session, he said to me, that was better coaching than anything that came outta the session. Stop editing yourself. And he was right. I learned that your client doesn't need another person nodding politely while they explain that they just need a little more time. They don't need someone who always agrees with them.
They need a coach. Someone who can say with love. You know that thing you keep saying you want, you might actually have to do something different like. Do the work to get it. We don't coach people for who they are. We coach them to become who they want to become. But let's be real. Sometimes coaching means smiling while your client tells you they don't have time.
Knowing full well they just binged an entire season of Netflix on the weekend. It means asking gently, is that a real barrier or a really good sounding excuse? And when they blink and go quiet. You know, you may be doing it right. Let's not pretend that this is easy because this kind of truth telling it does feel risky.
What if they get mad? What if they leave the session? What if they write a strongly worded email that starts with as a paying client? Or what if they even quit coaching? Now I get it. You want to be kind, but the kindest thing you can do in the long run is not let them play small. You don't have to be harsh.
You don't have to be a drill sergeant, but you do have to be honest and that honesty. Delivered with warmth and belief in who they really are. That's the magic combination. That's what builds trust and earns referrals. That's what gets you the, you changed my life message late at night when they celebrate, finally getting the result you knew they could get.
When you say what, no one else daress to say, you become unforgettable. Not because you had all the answers, but because you were the one person. Who treated them like an adult that can handle the truth. And because you saw who they were becoming before they believed it themselves, you were bold enough to hold up a mirror and say, here, look, you're already powerful.
Now let's clean up that self-sabotage. So if you're worried about being too direct, you're probably right where you need to be. Lead with love, say the real thing. And remember, if Rich Litvin can say it in a British accent, you can absolutely do it in your own voice too.

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In the world of coaching, there exists a powerful mantra by Rich Litvin: "Show your clients what they cannot see. Say to your clients what no one else would dare to say." This bold statement underscores the essence of transformative coaching. It’s a challenge and a reminder, one that should perhaps be posted prominently on every coach’s workspace.

The journey of a coach involves the delicate balance between honesty and kindness. Your clients deserve more than polite nods and supportive gestures; they need someone who will lovingly confront the excuses they create for themselves. As I learned through my own experience while coaching the Dean of Master Coach University, the greatest breakthroughs often come not from what is said during the session, but from the truth shared afterward.

Clients often have patterns of behavior that limit their potential. They insist they need more time even as they spend weekends indulging in Netflix binges. It’s up to us, as their coaches, to gently pose essential questions, "Is that a real barrier or just a convincing excuse?"

Navigating the truth isn’t easy; it’s laden with potential risks. What if clients get upset, leave the session, or decide to quit coaching altogether? These are real fears every coach faces. However, the greatest kindness you can offer is helping them confront the reality of their circumstances, rather than allowing them to play small.

Directness must be coated with warmth and belief. It’s this magic combination that fosters trust, leads to referrals, and evokes the gratifying "you changed my life" messages from clients. By saying what others won’t, you become an unforgettable guide—not by having all the answers but by being the one who believes in your clients before they believe in themselves.