Splatoon -- Octo Valley: 18. Spinning Spreaders ~ Time Waits for No Squid ~

Описание: Wait, what? We're back here, too?! ...how long has it been since the game started, and I've long since had this footage lying around?! The invasion is a lie! I faked it all in Cuttlefish's little shack, but we lacked quality staging, recording, and writing staff to make it seem convincing!

No, I'm making this statemet of my own accord and not under duress and certainly not because of any "Octosnipers" whatever those are and I totally made them up last time. I'm a sad, strange individual clearly in NEED of some serious HELP. I think SOMEONE should definitely SEND me someplace where I can get the HELP I so sorely need...

What, was that not good enough? C'mon, I read it the way you wrote it with only minor deviation, because there were way too many "octo" and "tentacle" puns... nobody would've bought it! Can I go now?! No? Why not?! Wait, what are you doi--*SPLAT*!!

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18. Spinning Spreaders
~ Time Waits for No Squid ~

...don't worry, it's okay now, I just got sent back to the spawn point. (I really should've thought of that sooner! Like... MONTHS ago!)

Now let's get back to taking the fight to enemy turf with a new stage! ...that I'm sure nobody's ever seen before, in all those same months since I mysteriously stopped uploading what I'd recorded, because... pfft, relevance! Who needs THAT?!

Actually, this stage feels a little out of place... there's no Octosnipers (thank goodness! ...did you know those guys have a SERIOUS body odor problem? ... ... ...they also... never... stop... STARING. Super-awkward conversation-wise, too...), and we've already met Spreaders before... an I'd argue that they were even in more troubling configurations at the time.

The only vaguely problematic parts are some jumps that require the use of moving Spreaders as platforms and an Octoling showdown at the end. Well, I say that, but these are NOT mere trivialities, since 3D platforming is the kind of thing that even in games dedicated to such some players might have difficulties with, and I'll admit that there MIGHT even be some newbies still playing this far in without spontaneously sprouting extra-manly chest hairs and belching fireballs every time they suck down the blood of an innocent victim... ... ...what, too far? Sorry... those are... some really weirdly vivid images that certainly (hopefully) don't apply to well over half the playerbase, and you'd think I'd be sensitive to that. (But y'know, you suck down enough blood and it starts messing with you!)

I say that... but this mission runs at least twice as long as it should... but not for any of the difficulties I mentioned. (Shh! I do NOT still have crazy psychological issues with Octolings that I'm NOT only now being FORCED to confront directly for a change!) No, the problem at hand is actually because my paranoid sense for secrets and such let something slip by! ...and thankfully I was able to figure it out before I reached the Zapfish, but not until AFTER it was no longer possible to do anything about it.

You see, you CAN spot the space I failed to notice the first time around from the very final area, but the out-of-bounds regions dictating where the bottom boundary before an instant splat (or... "poof"?) occurs isn't willing to let me jump several checkpoints back in time to fix my little oversight.

Neat that you're SO close that you can even fling some ink across the gap and almost feel like you could make it! ...even though the ink can, but you won't be allowed to even try!

That said, once you notice it and understand the lessons the rest of the stage had to teach you, it's not hard to get there for real... I just wish the lesson wasn't so painful, I guess. Was it painful for the lot of you back at home?! We aim to displease!