Anger Management, How to Fight Anger Without Sinning | Part 3 | Fr. Ebin

Описание: Fr. Ebin is doing something very Catholic here, he refuses the false split between body and soul. The Son of God took flesh, so grace does not float above our biology, it heals and elevates it. That is why his opening with animals shaking off stress is not random psychology. It reveals a mercy built into creation. The body has ways to complete a stress response so the person can return to peace, reason, and communion. When we do not “complete the cycle,” we tend to hold the charge inside, replay the scene, and stay in fight or flight long after the moment is over. That interior agitation does not automatically equal sin, but it can shrink freedom. And when freedom shrinks, charity becomes harder, and temptation becomes easier.

So the simple physical tools he mentions, yawning, stretching, loosening the jaw, lowering the shoulders, slowing the breath, carry real spiritual weight. They are not magic, they are cooperation. They signal to the brain that danger has passed, and they create a small space where reason and grace can lead again. This connects directly to St. Paul’s logic, “Be angry but do not sin… give no opportunity to the devil” (Ephesians 4:26–27). Anger is not automatically sin, but anger that is held, rehearsed, and nursed becomes an opening because it becomes a habit of the heart.

From there, Fr. Ebin lays out remedies that are ancient, and each one can be deepened.

First, interior vigilance. This is not anxiety. It is humble watchfulness. It says, I know I can be provoked, I know my tongue can wound, I will not pretend my reactions are holy just because they feel justified. The watchful person catches anger early, while it is still a spark, before it becomes a fire with momentum.

Second, immediate interior silence. Anger grows when it gets words too quickly. Silence is not passivity, it is restraint, and restraint is strength. Scripture’s wisdom is direct, be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger (James 1:19–20). “Slow” is a spiritual strategy. It buys time for truth to be spoken without contempt.

Third, bring anger to prayer before speech or action. This is where anger gets converted instead of merely managed. The Psalms teach this, they do not deny anger, they pour it out to God until it is purified. “Ponder in your hearts… and be silent” (Psalm 4:4). Prayer reorders the passion under Christ’s Lordship.

Fourth, examine not only the trigger but the source. St. John Cassian’s insight is surgical, the trigger is often surface level, the source is often deeper, wounded pride, fear, attachment, unmet expectations that have hardened into demands. The Christian question is not only “what did they do,” but “what did this reveal in me.”

Fifth, meekness as disciplined strength. Meekness is not weakness. Christ calls Himself meek, and no one was stronger than Him (Matthew 11:29). In the classical tradition, meekness moderates anger according to right reason. It does not erase anger, it orders it. This is why St. Francis de Sales practiced gentleness precisely when he felt heat inside. He was training the passions to obey charity.

Sixth, delay action until the heat cools. This is moral realism. Even when the cause is legitimate, decisions made in anger are rarely just. Delay is often the price of acting as a son of God rather than as a wounded ego. A short pause can prevent a “truth” from becoming a weapon.

Seventh, confess patterns of anger precisely. Confession is not only pardon, it is power. When Fr. Ebin says it heals dispositions, he is pointing to grace that reshapes the heart, not just wipes the slate. Precision exposes the pattern so Christ can heal the root, harshness, contempt, scorekeeping, silent treatment, escalation, dragging in old wounds.

He also adds two remedies that cut deep. Accept humiliation without immediate self defense when prudence allows. That is not tolerating abuse, it is refusing to be controlled by the need to look right. And cultivate compassion for the one who provokes you. Compassion does not excuse wrongdoing, it prevents hatred, keeping correction ordered toward healing, not domination.

Finally, he ties it together with the key distinction. Anger is not automatically sin, it is a signal that a good has been threatened. The Christian is not called to suppress anger, but to redeem it. Under Christ, anger becomes courage, zeal becomes fidelity, strength becomes service. The saints were not holy because they never felt anger, but because they never let anger rule. They examined it, purified it, released it, and when anger rose for a true cause, it was judged by charity and passed without leaving poison behind.

Takeaway: anger is a messenger, not a master. Bring it to Christ, and it can become clean strength instead of spiritual poison.