Why Most Therapists Miss The Attunement Problem

Описание: Season 2, Episode 16 of the Element Q Podcast features a powerful return conversation with therapist Melissa Stevenson, as host TJ Woodward explores the transformative power of attunement—and how it differs from validation, reassurance, or the impulse to “fix” someone’s feelings. Together, they unpack why emotions aren’t dangerous, how true presence heals more deeply than words, and why so many of us rush to comfort others as a way of soothing our own discomfort.

Drawing from somatic therapy, couples work, grief, and real-life clinical experiences, this episode offers profound insights for therapists, coaches, helpers, and anyone seeking deeper, more authentic relationships. The conversation examines why platitudes often shut down emotional truth, the essential role of silence, energy, and nervous system regulation, and how attunement shows up differently in friendships, romantic partnerships, and group settings. They also explore the limitations of social media and AI when it comes to genuine healing, emphasizing that real connection requires a regulated human nervous system.

With over 18 years of experience, Melissa Stevenson is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist known for her deeply integrative approach that honors the connection between mind, body, and spirit. She owns a group private practice serving adult individuals, couples, and families, and has held multiple leadership roles, including Executive Director of BrightQuest San Diego and Director positions at Foundations San Francisco and San Diego. A dedicated clinical supervisor and member of the Mental Health Advisory Council for the Foundation Fighting Blindness, Melissa is currently in the process of becoming a certified Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, guiding clients toward lasting change by focusing not just on why we suffer, but on how healing unfolds in the body and nervous system.

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🔗 Learn more:
Element Q Healing: elementqhealingcenter.com

TJ Woodward: https://www.tjwoodward.com

Melissa Stevenson: https://msfamilytherapy.com/

#mentalhealth #hope #inspiration

Key Moments

0:00 – Intro

01:26 – What Is Attunement (and What It’s Not)?

03:14 – Grief, Platitudes, and Why “Everything Happens for a Reason” Misses the Mark

06:06 – The Rabbit Story: A Perfect Example of True Presence

11:38 – Why the Therapist’s (or Friend’s) Healing Comes First

28:09 – Attunement in the Digital Age: Social Media, AI, and Nervous Systems

32:56 – Self-Attunement