I Tried To Make A [Battle] Sister My Waifu (a Tavern drinking song inspired by Warhammer 40K)

Описание: Track: I Tried To Make A Sister My Waifu
Artist: Barhound
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I hope you enjoyed this bardic banger straight out of the Underhive. Scroll down for full lyrics. This song is a part of our parody-fueled musical saga through the grim darkness of the 41st millennium! If you enjoyed it, please like and share with your folks. Subscribe for more awesome songs:    / @barhoundofficial  
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🛑 Disclaimer: This song is a fan-made parody and not associated with Games Workshop. All Warhammer 40K references belong to their rightful owners. This content is for satirical and entertainment purposes only.
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📜 Full lyrics:
She walked through the chapel with fire in her hair
Reciting a hymn while kicking a chair
My heart skipped a beat when she cleansed that dude's face
With a melta and mercy and terrifying grace

She said “Faith is my armor,” I said “Same, for real”
Then she lit me on fire with a flamer of zeal

Oh yeah! I tried to make a Sister my waifu
I brought her some recaf and Ecclesiarch stew
I said “You're like anime, but with a boltgun”
She said “You're like heresy, but slightly more fun”

I painted her portrait in oils and tears
She blessed it with fire and twelve volunteers
I wrote her a poem in Gothic and runes
She carved it on purity seals with some prunes

She said, “Devotion is pure when the heart is aflame”
Then slapped me so hard I forgot my own name

Oh yeah! I tried to make a Sister my waifu
I called her “Saint Chan” and she whispered “I’ll smite you”
She said, “Love is reserved for the Emperor’s light”
Then decked me in power armor mid-flight

I made her a mixtape of battlefield sounds
She used it to exorcise two cultist hounds
I gifted her incense and rosaries red
She beat me at arm-wrestling, twice, then fled

She said, “Your intentions are noted, now die”
I brought her some flowers, she gave me a sigh

Oh yeah! I tried to make a Sister my waifu
I quoted Lorgar, she screamed “That’s strike two!”
I drew her in chibi, with hearts on her shield
She mailed me a purity seal... and a yield

I still dream of her in my bunker each night
Shooting heretics and shining so bright
And though she’s declared me a borderline sin
I’ll cheer from the pews just to see her win

She said, “There’s no room for this nonsense and you”
But she kept the mixtape, so that’s a breakthrough

Oh yeah! I tried to make a Sister my waifu
She burned my plush grox, and I still kinda like you
She said, “I belong to the Emperor, and so is my heart”
And now I’m assigned to a post… very far apart!

Hey… if you’re hearing this, Sister Veronica…
Tell your Imagifier I didn’t mean the body pillow.
It was a tribute! An innocent tribute!
Also… my eyebrows are growing back.
Please. Call me. Or don’t.
Ave Imperator!

Oh yeah! I tried to make a Sister my waifu
She burned my plush grox, and I still kinda like you
I think about her every day, and so weeps my heart
Yeah they put me in a different post… very far apart!

#warhammer40k #wh40k #tavernmusic #darktide #spacemarine2 #epicmusic

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🛑AI Disclosure: Some elements of this track were enhanced using AI. Vocals and instruments are AI-assisted. My natural voice is smoother, and I primarily play acoustic rhythm and percussive guitar. The final mix includes AI-generated enhancements and additional instrumentation. Lyrics are written by me. I occasionally use ChatGPT for editing, proofing or rhyming help.