Don't Be Afraid to Upset Women | Polarize Her Emotions and Spike Attraction

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When it comes to life and relationships, most men like to play it safe. This playing it safe strategy includes a reluctance to upset women. If you want to create any real, lasting attraction with women, however, you must be able to venture out of your comfort zone and endure a certain degree of discomfort and pain. Attraction, after all, doesn’t grow in safety and security, attraction grows in a swamp of anxiety, fear, jealousy, anger, and sadness. All the negative emotions we try so hard to avoid in daily life are, in fact, the same emotions you must embrace if you want to build attraction with women.

Modern culture states that peoples’ emotions are sacred territory. We must never hurt another person’s feelings or upset them in any way. Nonetheless, if you go through life reluctant to upset a woman or disturb her sense of tranquility, you’ll have little to no impact on a woman’s feelings or emotions. And if a woman feels nothing for you, she’ll lose interest in you and focus her attention elsewhere. Women need to feel their emotions because emotions are the centerpiece of a woman’s life.

Every human interaction is laced with emotion. These emotions can either be on the positive side of the spectrum such as sex, pleasure, affection, warmth, and love, or these emotions can be on the negative side of the spectrum such as jealousy, anger, sadness, and fear. Women are feeling creatures who are driven by their emotions. If a woman is in a relationship with a man who inspires strong emotions, whether those emotions are positive or negative, the woman is more likely to focus on the man and fall under his spell.

Research into attraction discovered that women are attracted to men who inspire feelings of anxiety and uncertainty. But that one question still remains to be answered: why are women more attracted to men who make them feel anxious and uncertain? A study carried out by the University of Chicago finally shed light on this question when researchers reported that people are much more likely to work hard and pay a “higher price” for a reward when the reward is “uncertain” as opposed to “known.” The researchers in the study noted that people are often pushed harder by the fantasy of “winning big” in much the same way that people are enthralled by the prospect of winning the lottery.

Human beings are driven by hope and the knowledge that it’s possible to get what we want, even if the odds are stacked against us. As humans, we have an insatiable desire to bring order and control into our lives by “resolving the uncertain” and bringing the “unknown into the light of understanding.” Once we come to understand and appreciate this aspect of human nature, it’s possible to see how feelings of anxiety can have such a profound and dramatic effect on the human condition. Of course, anxiety is by no means a positive emotion for women to experience, but anxiety does without doubt build attraction by focusing a woman’s attention on the source of her discomfort—you.

There’s no point trying to make a woman feel good all the time. That would be an exercise in futility. Yes, there will be extended periods of bliss, but make no mistake, relationships often give birth to extended periods of discomfort and anxiety. You must be able to weather a woman’s chaotic emotions whenever they surface, and indeed, create your own storms to ensure you remain at the forefront of a woman’s mind. You should never attempt to play it safe with women. If your goal is to spark attraction and maintain interest over the long-run, you must allow a woman to feel angry, sad, bitter, frustrated, nervous, anxious, resentful, jealous, envious, and disappointed. Only then, can you expect to grab a woman’s attention and inspire the kind of attraction that most men can only dream about.

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Chris Canwell