The Sages Had One Rule: 'Never Follow Deathworlders Home'... They Got Curious | HFY Stories

Описание: 🚀 The Sages Had One Rule: Never Follow Deathworlders Home... They Got Curious 🌍

Three alien scientists break the galaxy's most sacred rule and follow humans back to Earth. What they discover isn't just why the rule exists—it's a three-hundred-year conspiracy that's been hiding the truth about humanity from the entire Galactic Council! 👽

When Professor Quilnex, Dr. Flixxen, and intern Grixxle land their spacecraft in a New Jersey shopping mall parking lot, they expect terror and chaos. Instead, they get parking tickets, paperwork, and humans who are MORE annoyed about the inconvenience than afraid of alien visitors. As they dig deeper into human culture—from the bureaucratic nightmare of the DMV to the existential horror of suburban life—they stumble upon hidden monitoring stations that reveal a shocking truth: humanity has been watched for CENTURIES by an ancient civilization terrified of human influence spreading across the galaxy.

What makes humans so dangerous? Not their weapons. Not their violence. But something far more infectious: their ability to look at impossible problems and just... try anyway. Their refusal to accept that "this is how things have always been done." Their weaponized bureaucracy and their habit of treating cosmic threats like minor inconveniences on a Tuesday afternoon.

As the three scientists race against time to expose the conspiracy before Earth is isolated from the galaxy forever, they discover that breaking the rules might be the only way to find out why the rules existed in the first place. 🛸

Featuring Douglas Adams-style humor, cultural misunderstandings, ceramic owls, and the most terrifying location in human civilization: the Department of Motor Vehicles. 😱

🎬 CHARACTERS FEATURING IN THIS STORY:

Professor Quilnex - A xenobiologist from the Harmonious Collective whose skin changes color based on his emotions. Thirty-two years of studying deathworlders from a safe distance taught him nothing about what humans are actually like. His seventeen academic degrees couldn't prepare him for New Jersey.

Dr. Flixxen - A Methodical Processor who looks like a praying mantis crossed with a filing cabinet. She can see in nineteen different spectrums and takes six hours to make simple decisions. Her species is known for attention to detail and complete inability to handle spontaneity—which makes Earth her personal nightmare.

Grixxle - A young intern from the Inquiring Whiskers species who resembles a ferret in a lab coat. His people discovered space travel by accident when someone pressed all the buttons simultaneously. He brings dangerous levels of enthusiasm and optimism to situations that require neither.

Inspector Williams - A human Department of Interdimensional Transportation officer who's seen everything and is impressed by nothing. Eight years of dealing with illegal alien visitors has given him the perfect combination of bureaucratic efficiency and philosophical acceptance of cosmic absurdity.

Ashley - A mall manager who's worked retail for two decades and possesses the supernatural ability to see through holographic disguises. Her customer service skills translate surprisingly well to first contact scenarios.

The Meridians - An ancient High Civilization species that's been secretly monitoring Earth for three hundred years, terrified that human psychology might infect the rest of the galaxy with dangerous ideas like "just try it and see what happens."

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🔥 PERFECT FOR FANS OF:
✅ HFY (Humanity F*** Yeah) stories
✅ Douglas Adams & Hitchhiker's Guide humor
✅ First contact gone hilariously wrong
✅ Humans are space orcs content
✅ Sci-fi comedy with heart
✅ Stories where bureaucracy is the real final boss

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