Marriage Counseling: Infidelity Help

Описание: TOPIC: The Eight Lifetime Dilemmas or Lessons and Help with Handling an Affair

MY 7-PAGE ARTICLE: Four Reasons Behind Cheating and Affairs: When Intimacy Fails in a Relationship
by Heather Carlile, MA, LPC

It Always Makes Sense

When people come to me for marriage counseling, the troubling issues they describe are usually a result of some sort of problem they experienced in childhood or adolescence. In an effort to help the people who come to me for marriage or relationship counseling, I sought and invented new and fast means to help them.

Now my clients tell me that, when I teach and mentor them, "it makes sense." Their next thought is a question: "What do I do?" and the next step is deciding what to improve in their relationship.

As a marriage counselor, I've worked with hundreds of couples. Each relationship is unique and yet I can describe four general patterns that are at the root of most infidelity.
Lack of Maturity
Lack of Emotional Intelligence
Lack of Knowledge
Lack of Skills

FREE HANDOUTS: You can request the rest of this article and/or handouts I provided for this broadcast by sending me an email at [email protected].

CONTENT:

The Basic Six Developmental Tasks in Psychology
How to handle the discovery of an affair, of infidelity

VIEWER QUESTIONS:

8:00 RedRoom-721955: Welcome to the Red Room! This is Heather - glad you joined us tonight!
8:00 RedRoom-721955: We're exploring the eight Lifetime Dilemmas!
8:01 RedRoom-721955: PURPOSE - Grow Me!
8:01 RedRoom-721955: MISSION - Serve the World!

At 16:20 minutes:

8:21 RedRoom-190201: Do I have to stay exactly "on topic"
8:22 RedRoom-190201: I just found out my husband has been having an affair for a long time!
8:22 RedRoom-190201: I never suspected he could be such a creep to me
8:23 RedRoom-190201: Heather, I found out on Sunday
8:24 RedRoom-190201: And I couldn't believe it.
8:24 RedRoom-190201: I am scared and unsure of my family's future of course
8:28 RedRoom-190201: Heather. my main question is, should I confront him?
8:28 RedRoom-190201: If so, HOW?
8:29 RedRoom-190201: If he stops the affair, then should I try to let it go
8:29 RedRoom-190201: (try to put it out of my mind)
8:30 RedRoom-190201: So, maybe I should NOT tell him I know about it because, if it stops, it would be better for me to never bring it up.
8:32 RedRoom-190201: I hate the thought of our family being destroyed
8:32 RedRoom-190201: So, if it stops, I would be better off if the issue just "goes away"
8:33 RedRoom-190201: And it can't just go away if we get into a fight over it
8:34 RedRoom-190201: It's the FIGHT that would destroy us
8:39 RedRoom-190201: I'm sorry Heather my heart is racing and I am very upset
8:58 RedRoom-190201: So are you recommending that I should confront him?
8:59 RedRoom-190201: But what if it just burns itself out over time?
8:59 RedRoom-190201: So if it does, wouldn't it be better to not say anything?
9:01 RedRoom-190201: Thank you Heather.
9:01 RedRoom-190201: I think I could be a better wife to him but I'm SO upset.
9:02 RedRoom-071040: Thank you, Heather. You are great! I learned a lot tonight!
9:04 RedRoom-190201: Heather THANK YOU for saying your wonderful words of encouragement to me.
9:05 RedRoom-190201: Somehow I feel better


WEBSITE: For more information, visit my website at heathercarlile.com