moles don't think about space or small talk: a poem

Описание: age 18

i would like very much to live in a small hole
in the ground like a mole
a small hole for an even smaller mole
maybe dug into the side of a hill
and i will close off the entrance
to keep out the chill of the winters,
heat of the summers
no one would know, but please tell my mother
i’m sorry, i’m sorry, but it had to be done
because when you can’t run from the
invisible weight of the world
teetering on your shoulder blades
just smother yourself with dirt
bury yourself alive
so at least then you know where the
suffocation is coming from
when i can feel my stomach
being pulled out through my lips
and forced back down again
whenever its decided so
i’d at least like to know who’s responsible
so i can thank them for giving me
a gag reflex crafted from steel
and the artistry to construct a creative,
well-rounded list of a thousand and one ways i could die
i’ve learned that when fire and ice combine
they don’t divide, they multiply
two extremes don’t cancel, they intensify
and yes, there’s something bringing the cold
but oh, i bring the burn
if i was a mole in the side of a hill, i wouldn’t
seek that same masochistic thrill
that keeps my human heart humming,
human mind numbing,
someone please help me, i think i’m becoming
insignificant again
that’s the third time today
a mole wouldn’t cry when asked of its day
when i was little i was told
i had an excellent imagination
who ever would have guessed
i’d use it in the creation
of my own personal hell
where everything’s my fault
and no matter how small i get
i always take up too much space
while at the same time taking up no space
because have you ever thought about
how big space is
everyone’s so small
but i’m the biggest small of them all
not if i was a mole in the side of a hill
with neither the heat
nor the chill
it’s quiet
and cosy
but really, that’s silly and
i don’t suppose we
could come to some sort of agreement
for there’s lives to be lived
business to conduct
there’s moments to experience
and there’s nothing to discuss
things to think too much
everything to think too much
i always think too much