I Stayed Longer Than I Knew How [Audio]

Описание: I didn’t write this to inspire anyone. I wrote it because pretending I was okay felt like lying. This song lives in the space where strength turns into exhaustion and hope starts to feel abusive. It’s not clean, it’s not uplifting, and it’s not meant to be. It’s what happens when you survive for too long and no one teaches you how to stop hurting quietly."

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I don’t feel dramatic, I feel empty
Like the echo after something breaks
I wake up already apologizing
For the air I still take

I outlived the versions they needed
The strong one, the brave one, the cure
Now I’m just a body remembering
How it felt to be sure

Every night is a negotiation
Between breathing and letting go
I’m not scared of dying
I’m scared there’s nothing left worth holding onto

I gave my youth to staying alive
I gave my voice to other people’s pain
I built myself out of open wounds
And called it strength again and again

They clap when you bleed beautifully
They turn away when you rot
They love the sound of your breaking
As long as they don’t hear the cost

I’m not broken in pieces
I’m broken in layers
Like something worn down by years
Of unanswered prayers

I don’t hate myself, I’m just tired
Of dragging this name through the days
Tired of being a lesson
Everyone survives, but no one stays

If I stop reaching for mornings
It’s not because I didn’t try
It’s because hope kept overdosing me
On reasons to lie

I stayed for the people who needed me
I stayed for the songs half-written
But every time I chose tomorrow
Something inside me went missing

I don’t want closure, I want release
From the noise in my chest
From the constant audition
To prove I deserve rest

If I fade, don’t call me selfish
Don’t turn my silence into shame
Some hearts aren’t meant for this world
They burn out trying to stay humane

I loved deeply, I lost completely
I carried more than my share
This isn’t giving up on life
It’s admitting I was already there

I’m not asking you to understand
I barely do myself
I just want one moment
Where I don’t have to hold myself

Let the night be honest with me
Let it say I did enough
Let me lay down the armor
I forged out of “being tough”

I survived longer than I wanted
I stayed longer than I knew how
If my voice finally goes quiet
Please know
I loved you
Even now


Written by Tinguaro Díaz.
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#loneliness #sadnessinwords #alone