Sexuality education for parents: top tips for tricky talks | Interview with Vanessa Hamilton (Ep.92)

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This week we’re re-releasing another of our podcast episodes. This time, we’re revisiting a conversation that Jane had with Vanessa Hamilton, a sexuality educator and founder of the education business ‘Talking The Talk Healthy Sexuality Education’.

Vanessa has over 25 years of experience as a registered sexual health nurse, she is a parent of 3 teens and is an award-winning author, highly respected speaker, podcaster, blog writer and educator on the topics of human sexuality, consent and respectful relationships. Vanessa has immersed herself in helping parents, teachers and health professionals understand human sexuality and, specifically, how it relates to children.

Together, she and Jane spoke about the key topics parents should address with their kids about sexuality education, including consent, pleasure, and pornography. Vanessa provides strategies for tackling uncomfortable situations and gives examples of how to use teachable moments with young people, as well as providing a script for responding when a child asks how babies are made.

You can find more of Vanessa here: https://www.talkingthetalksexed.com.au/

Timestamps:
00:00 – Intro
00:49 – How Vanessa ended up in the sexuality education space
03:26 – The scale of the sex ed gap within adults
04:48 – The impact of confidence on having sex ed chats
05:47 – How to talk with young people about sending nudes
07:18 – Vanessa’s take-home message to parents
08:50 – When should you start thinking about having conversations with your kids about sexuality?
09:42 – Why your tone is more important than what you say to a child
10:13 – What topics you should be covering with your kids (and why saying something is better than saying nothing)
12:47 – The majority of parents support this education
13:38 – Why Vanessa doesn’t like the term ‘sex ed’ (and what she uses instead)
15:20 – Reframing how we think about pleasure
17:01 – How consent is part of our everyday experiences
19:59 – How to explain how babies are made
23:35 – What are the contributing factors towards teen pregnancies?
24:46 – What kids are learning about sex from pornography
26:36 – Why Vanessa wrote her book ‘Talking Sex’
29:11 – How to respond when you encounter an uncomfortable situation with your child
31:10 – How to practice having conversations about sexuality
32:22 – The barriers for male parents having these kinds of conversations
34:14 – Examples of how to use teachable moments with your kids
38:15 – Make yourself the adult that your kids can come to
39:56 – Why it’s important to give young people a framework to think about pornography
42:10 – How to respond if you think your child has seen inappropriate content online
43:21 – How to get a copy of Vanessa’s book ‘Talking Sex’
44:23 – Vanessa’s book on consent for parents and teachers
45:05 – Just get started: it’s easier than you think
45:39 - Conclusion

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