How This Couple Avoids Fighting About Money

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Sarah-Beth and Reuben's rule is that they have to discuss any purchase over $100. This allows them to stay on the same page as they plan both the immediate future and larger-scale things further down the line.

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Following is a transcript of the video:

Sarah-Beth: Coming up with a savings plan has been the hardest thing for the two of us. Once we like, combine things together with the joint account and the joint credit card, trying to figure out how we want to meet those long-term goals, saving for a house, different things like that, maybe one day buying a car. Just all those long-term goals, you have to come up with a plan on how you're gonna save and manage the month-to-month but also the year long and the two-year things.

Reuben: We came up with this number that was — we said if you're spending over $100 on something — that isn't a present — you have to talk about it with the other person, and it's a conversation, and it's not merely just like the other person can approve or disapprove of it, but it's more of you can talk about it. Like I do a lot of running races and stuff, that sometimes get very expensive, and we  talk about like, you know, which races I'm going to do for the year, so that we can, you know, plan it out versus me just willy-nilly just like, registering for, you know, 20 races, and then all of a sudden I spent $3,000 on race entries, you know, without —

Sarah-Beth: Yeah, and most of the time we're like "Oh, of course you need to spend, that's what the cost of it is," but it's just having that conversation just keeps both of us in the loop, and there's no surprises when the bill comes, and yeah, just keep the communication open.

Reuben: And I think also like, discrepancies in salaries between a couple is also a hard thing to navigate, because I mean we're pretty close but if it was a bigger gap.

Sarah-Beth: We're not that close. That's not true.

Reuben: Okay, if it was a bigger gap I think it would be harder, and I think that navigating that where like, one person thinks they can spend more than the other, or whatever it might be, and like figuring out what is necess — is 50/50 the real — while your relationship should be a 50/50 partnership, the financial relationship — if one of you — if one of us — or one person's making a lot more than the other, then it shouldn't be a 50/50 relationship, because that's not real.

Sarah-Beth: But also like, we value a lot of the same things in life, so, the way we look at money is definitely similar in that way where we agree to spend on certain things and save in other areas because that reflects what we value as a couple.

Reuben: Yeah.