Best Marriage Advice From Older Couples

Описание: Let's hear what Paul says about the best marriage advice from older couples that we saw on social media.

I guess you might consider me older couples but it's always interesting and we see it on Facebook quite a bit where there's a couple who's been together for 60, 70, 80 years and it's so beautiful. You see the smiles on their face and then everyone always wants to know, how
did you do it and I love some of the comments and some of them are just funny.

One comment that I heard from one guy was, "Well, she's always right so I just do what she told me." And there's a lot of advice you can get from older couples, unfortunately, most of what they say is different from how they actually behave. So what I want to do is give you an example of what I'm talking about. They will ask a couple questions and they'll be sitting there and if you look into the eyes of the husband or the wife there's always this gleam in their eye that is saying, "I'm in love." And then when they're talking you'll notice that they never speak over each other. They don't interrupt each other and there is this mutual admiration that exists that it's to me probably the number one factor.

Marriages longevity and admiration, not just mutual respect which a lot of people don't even
recognize as a necessity. We live in an over-familiar world where people have this idea of speaking your mind as if the other person doesn't count, as if how that affects the other isn't as
important as the individual's sense of "I get to say what I want to say even if it hurts." Well, that's wrong. When you watch older couples behave there's always this -- it's beautiful, it's like let's say the husband is talking and the wife interrupts.

What does the husband do in these situations?

He stops talking because he respects his wife. They come from a time when the expression of
respect is not something that is debatable -- you just do it. It's a time when children respected their parents because they were their parents and they learn that from watching their father
respect their mother, watching their mother respect their father. This is a huge thing. There's always this, first it starts with respect.

If you don't give your spouse complete respect, you're already beginning to erode your marriage and if you give them admiration which is the flipside of disrespect is admiration and what you're doing is you're sealing and strengthening the bond between the two of you. This is my point. The number one advice is not what they say because sometimes they say some really goofy things. I read where one woman said, "Every morning having sex with my husband is the same as brushing my teeth." Well, what was she really saying that's kind of a goofy thing to say although you have to admire where she's coming from, but the reason she was saying that is she honors
her husband so his desire for having sex with her is something she honored as well.

There is this respect that's foundational, admiration is sort of the next step, very very important. This is not just for some. You need to learn to honor your spouse and then the next step is the expression of appreciation for them as they are regardless of flaws, imperfections who among us have none of those but the smart spouse doesn't judge it. They don't hold back just because they think that it's not cool. We're not talking about someone acknowledging being a bank robber. We're talking about something that is innocent and you may consider it in a position.
Some women would say, "What a great imposition." I'm not going to do that and then I would ask you, what would you rather have, a little bit of imposition with enormous amounts of love and mutual connection or no impositions maintaining your "individuality" but lacking the greatest benefit of marriage which is love.

When you see older couples, they have gone beyond the mundane judgments. They have gone beyond the selfishness that ruins most marriages and they have fed into their marital space, a tremendous amount of proactive loving behavior and that is the key. Don't even imagine it's
something else. Remember, there's only two of you in this sacred space of marriage.

Why would you do anything other than proactively infused loving behavior just makes sense to do that, doesn't it? Just make sense.

Hopefully, you'll be an old couple down the years, 100 years old and talking about your lifetime of love and happiness with your grandchildren, maybe your great-grandchildren and they'll ask you, "How did you do it?" And you'll say, "I learned how to love unconditionally," and that's the true
secret. Learn to love unconditionally and you too will have the marriage that everyone admires and you love.

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