What a Death Doula Learned About Loving Someone You Can’t Save

Описание: In this powerful conversation, host KL Wells sits down with Paul Simard, a death doula, TED Talk speaker, and men’s wellness coach, to explore how our relationship with grief, loss, and mortality shapes the way we love. Drawing from his personal journey through crisis and transformation, Paul shares how facing life’s hardest realities can open the door to deeper compassion, connection, and meaning.
Together, KL and Paul discuss how loving someone in addiction often brings families into an ongoing experience of grief, uncertainty, and emotional complexity. This episode offers a thoughtful reframing of grief as an extension of love, explores the role of shame and isolation, and invites listeners to consider new ways of holding both loss and hope at the same time

Key Discussion Points
Paul’s personal journey and how life challenges led him into service work
Reframing death as a natural and meaningful part of life’s cycle
Understanding grief as an expression of ongoing love
How loving someone in addiction can mirror the emotional experience of grief
The difference between shame and guilt, and how shame fuels isolation
Why connection and community are essential for healing
Rethinking sovereignty as interdependence rather than independence
The emotional impact of the language we use around death and loss
Cultural perspectives on honoring life and death
How personal stories and beliefs shape our experience of suffering

Some Questions I Ask
How did your personal experiences lead you into this work?
What does it mean to show up as a father, partner, and man today?
How can we develop a healthier relationship with death and loss?
How do we love someone whose addiction creates constant uncertainty?
Where do our stories about shame come from, and how do they affect us?
How do we know if the beliefs we’re holding are helping or hurting us?
What might be possible if we questioned the narratives we’ve inherited?
How can we hold both grief and gratitude at the same time?

In This Episode, You Will Learn
How reframing grief and loss can shift your emotional experience
Why grief is often a continuation of love rather than the end of connection
The role of community and connection in supporting mental and emotional health
How shame can keep families isolated and how connection helps interrupt that pattern
The influence language and internal narratives have on the nervous system
How experiences of loss can deepen perspective and meaning
Why strength often comes from interdependence rather than independence
How grief and joy can coexist
The importance of questioning inherited beliefs and rewriting stories that no longer serve you

Resources
Learn more about Paul Simardhttps://paulsimard.co
Watch Paul Simard’s TED Talk: The Mythical Manhttps://www.ted.com/talks/paul_simard...
Connect with Thrive While Loving an Addicthttps://voicesincourage.com
Books mentioned in the episode:Lost Connections by Johann HariThe Celestine Prophecy by James RedfieldThe Road Less Traveled by M. Scott PeckSapiens by Yuval Noah Harari
Learn more about Positive Intelligencehttps://positiveintelligence.com/about/
Explore the work of Gabor Matéhttps://drgabormate.com/