This “Happy” 90s Anthem Was Actually Billy Corgan’s Cry For Help

Описание: The story of The Smashing Pumpkins song Today from Siaese Dream

It’s one of the most recognizable sounds of the 90s: a clean, sunny guitar riff that feels like pure optimism. For millions, “Today” by The Smashing Pumpkins became the soundtrack of a perfect summer afternoon, a rare burst of light in a decade dominated by grunge gloom. It sounded like freedom, driving with the windows down, a bright promise that today really could be the greatest day you’ve ever known.

But that’s not what this song is. It isn’t a celebration, and it’s definitely not about a good day. It’s a confession. A dark, sarcastic snapshot of someone who has completely run out of hope. “Today” is a song written at rock bottom, by a man who wasn’t sure he wanted to see tomorrow. And somehow, that hidden goodbye letter became one of the most beloved anthems of the decade—and ended up saving the person who wrote it.

When Siamese Dream dropped in 1993, alternative rock was exploding. The Smashing Pumpkins were thrown in with Nirvana and Pearl Jam, but their sound was bigger and more ambitious. The lead single “Cherub Rock” did well, but it was “Today” that lit the fuse. The video sealed the deal: Billy Corgan driving a psychedelic ice cream truck through the desert, handing out joy. For MTV viewers, the message was simple—seize the day, escape your boring life, feel good.

Behind the scenes, things were anything but good. After the band’s debut Gish was overshadowed by Nevermind and Ten, Corgan spiraled. He was dealing with childhood trauma, band tensions, label pressure, and brutal depression. He’s talked openly about giving away his belongings, planning his own eulogy, and reaching a point where he felt like he had two choices: jump out a window, or completely change his life.

Out of that moment came “Today.” Corgan later said he thought it was funny to write “today is the greatest day I’ve ever known” precisely because it felt like his worst. The line “Can’t wait for tomorrow, I might not have that long” suddenly hits very differently once you know the context. The upbeat music is a mask; underneath is someone barely holding it together.

The lyrics are full of scars and regret—“pink ribbon scars that never forget”—and images of wanting to escape a body and a life that feel unbearable. What sounds like a triumphant chorus becomes a desperate mantra, someone trying to convince themselves that this day means something, because they’re not sure there’s another one coming.
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The chaos bled into the Siamese Dream sessions. Drummer Jimmy Chamberlin was battling addiction, relationships in the band were strained, and Corgan’s perfectionism had him re‑recording much of the guitar and bass himself while the album burned through time and money. In the middle of that storm, “Today” was finished.

The ultimate twist is what happened next. The song Corgan wrote at his lowest point became the track that rocketed Smashing Pumpkins into the mainstream. It drove Siamese Dream to multi‑platinum sales and turned that “ice cream truck song” into a generational anthem. For Corgan, it marked the first step out of the darkness—a song born out of hopelessness that ended up proving there was something left to live for.

So the next time you hear that bright, chiming riff, remember: you’re not just listening to a feel‑good 90s classic. You’re hearing what rock bottom sounds like when someone decides to turn it into art instead of an ending.

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