The Invisible Burden: Why the Mental Load is Motherhood's Hardest Job

Описание: In this episode, we dive into a topic that resonates deeply with working mums: the invisible burden of the mental load and the necessity of establishing healthy boundaries.


Studies show women spend an average of 4.5 hours per day on unpaid work compared to 2.5 hours for men, leading to stress and burnout.


"A mother's brain makes over 1000 micro decision daily. There is no job in the world harder on the human brain, not a surgeon, not a politician, not a lawyer. Mothering is the only job where the brain never clocks out, even when asleep." shares Fiorenza.


Fiorenza explores practical strategies to help you reduce this burden, establish boundaries, and create vital space for self-care and creativity.


Key topics explored:


Defining Mental Load (02:15): It’s the invisible burden of planning, organising, and remembering tasks (from school bags to household chores). It includes the constant thinking and worrying, on top of the execution of the tasks.


The Mother’s Brain: Fiorenza shares a powerful post from (https://www.instagram.com/p/DUG36WwjO-0/?u...) Anna Whitehouse (Mother Puka) (https://www.instagram.com/p/DUG36WwjO-0/?u...) (03:42), citing UCL research that a mother’s brain makes over 1000 micro-decisions daily, making it a 24/7 job that never clocks out.


Sharing the Load - The Big 3 Activity (06:06): A quick exercise inviting you to list the 3 tasks that weigh most heavily on your mind and brainstorm ways to share those responsibilities with your partner or family.


Practical Strategies for Mental Load Reduction (07:00):


Communication & Systems: Surfacing invisible tasks and having open conversations with your partner.


Fair Play Card System: A playful, powerful tool to make the mental load visible and decide who holds which responsibilities. This is a topic from a previous podcast episode with (https://pod.fo/e/39c818) Sam Kennedy Christian (https://pod.fo/e/39c818) . (https://pod.fo/e/39c818)


Scheduled Check-ins: Conversations should not be a one-off; schedule check-ins to ensure responsibilities remain evenly distributed.


Establishing Boundaries (08:07):


Workday Buffer: Create a small buffer (10-15 minutes) at the start and end of your workday to transition smoothly between home mode and work mode.


Communicate & Prioritise: Be clear about your availability, communicate your time commitments, and practice saying no to tasks that don’t align with your priorities.


Self-Care & Creative Activities (11:51):


Separate Self-Care from Creativity: Self-care is about looking after your body and mind (e.g., nutritious food, physical activity like yoga/pilates). Creative activities (e.g., sewing, which Fiorenza enjoys) are for engaging in flow states that boost mental health and often generate ideas for other areas of life/work.


Prioritise Time: Acknowledge that finding time for creative activities often involves a trade-off, especially on weekends, but keep it on your radar and don’t be afraid to try something new.


Societal influences, Gender Roles and Expression:


A study on ScienceDirect suggests that the expression of traditional gender roles (identifying as (https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/arti...) femme (https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/arti...) ) can influence who takes on more of the mental load at home (https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/arti...) : not surprisingly, cultural norms often position mothers as the default caregiver.


Advocacy for policies like shared parental leave helps reduce the gender gap in unpaid work.


Fostering Belonging: Celebrate small wins, practice self-compassion, and connect with other mums to feel less alone. Community plays a crucial role.





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About your host Fiorenza Rossini


Fiorenza started building her coaching business in 2016 while still working in investment banking. When her first child was born in 2019, she knew something had to give. Like many parents, she realised she couldn’t keep growing her career in the same way while also being the parent she wanted to be. Her priorities became clearer, and she chose to leave corporate life to focus fully on her coaching work. Today, Fiorenza supports driven professionals & leaders who are also parents of young children, who find themselves to be at a pivot point - whether that’s returning to work, stepping into leadership, or rethinking what career growth now looks like.🔗 Fiorenza on LinkedI...