GOV.UK/DWP/UC vs SR. BARATA! - Episode #1 " FULL FORCE! : FULL DISCLOSURE! : FULL FRONTAL! " Like?

Описание: GOV.UK/DWP/UC vs SR. BARATA! - Episode #1 " FULL FORCE! : FULL DISCLOSURE! : FULL FRONTAL! " Like?

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. All 13 Episodes.
. Behind The Scenes Mockumentary - narrated by Riff Flanger..
. Season 2 Teaser.
. High Quality DWP Staff Badge (with your name laser etched)
. Authentic 'Universal Credit' Staff Uniform with Wetherspoon's Discount Voucher & Fully Functioning, RFID Access Control Tag For Use With All UK JobCentres. (not compatible with the Republic of Irelamd or The Isle of Sheppey.
. Autographed Professional Portrait of Pat McFadden MP
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If you'd prefer to not 'Like' & not 'Subscribe' don't worry, we still offer consolation prizes to you folk; just send us a stamped and self-addressed, padded postal bag and we'll send you the steam of my rough-sleeping friend's solid or semi-solid waste residue eliminated from his body via his anus after digestion and nutrient absorption. Consisting of water, bacteria, fibre, bile, and dead cells, it was formed in his colon. His poo characteristics reflect overall poor health, his common stools are typically smooth, yellowish black, and pepperoni sausage-shaped. Enjoy!


INTRO : UC, DWP, GOV.UK
I AM GOING TO SEEK MY VENGEANCE UPON THE UC OF UK DWP! THEIR COMPLETE INCOMPETENCE HAS, YET AGAIN, CAUSED ME AND MY FRIENDS UNBEARABLE TRAUMA - THIS IS NOT A IDEAL THREAT! I AM COMING FOR YOU! I WILL DO THIS WHILST FOLLOWING ALL RULES, LAWS AND REGULATIONS THAT I CHOOSE TO BE VALID. I DO NOT INTEND TO SUBJECT ANY PERSON TO PHYSICAL HARM; NEITHER DO I INTENTIONALLY AIM TO CASE DISTRESS, UPSET OF ANY PSYCHOLOGICAL / EMOTIONAL / MENTAL AGONY ALTHOUGH, I WOULD ASSUME THAT THERE WILL ULTIMATELY MANY NON-PHYSICAL, LIFE-CHANGING INJURIES SUFFERED AS INDIRECT CONSEQUENCES OF MY CHOSEN APPROACH. NO ONE EVER DOES THIS TO ME AND WALKS AWAY UNCHALLENGED! I GAVE YOU ALL FAIR WARNING OVER THE LAST SIX YEARS, THROUGH FUCK UP AFTER FUCK UP THAT YOUR PEOPLE APPEAR TO BE EXTREMELY COMPETENT AT; FUCKING UP! I WATCH MANY OF YOU SITTING IN THE PUBLIC HOUSE, VERY CLOSE TO YOUR PLACE OF WORK, DRINKING ALCOHOL BETWEEN MIDDAY AND 14:00, WITH YOUR LANYARD ON DISPLAY. THEN RETURNING TO YOUR PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT IN A STATE OF INEBRIATION, WHICH HELPS TO MAKE YOU EVEN LESS USEFUL - AS INCREDULOUS AS THAT COULD EVER BE! THE OF EMPLOYEES OF UK DWP/ UC/PIP/DLA, etc. ARE ALL CIVIL SERVANTS AND GO FUCKING LEARN IF YOU THINK THAT YOU KNOW OTHERWISE; I AM A CIVILIAN, YOU ARE MY SERVANT! POSSIBLY THE MOST INEPT SERVANTS IMAGINABLE SINCE THE FICTIONAL INDIAN CHARACTER OF THE POPULAR, UK TELEVISION SERIES NAMED "IT AIN'T HALF HOT, MUM" - THAT SAT OUTSIDE THE OFFICER'S TENT AND WHOSE ONLY ROLE WAS TO PULL, RHYTHMICALLY ON A ROPE THAT WAS CONNECTED TO VENTILATION-ASSISTING FAN MECHANISM - IMAGINE AIR CONDITIONING POWERED BY AN INDIAN, HUMAN SLAVE AND, OCCASIONALLY THIS CHARACTER FUCKED-UP HIS COMPLEX REMIT AND PERHAPS FELL ASLEEP, OR BECAME OVER-HEATED AND, MOST HILARIOUSLY, WAS THEN REPRIMANDED BY HIS 'BOSSES' - WELL, ALTHOUGH THE ROLE AND JOB DESCRIPTION OF THIS CHARACTER WAS VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SCREW UP, HE MANAGED IT! NOW YOUR REMIT, AS CIVIL SERVANTS HAS BEEN SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED BY MY COMPANY, AT THE REQUEST OF YOUR SENIORS, 7 UK GOVERNMENT MINISTERS AND A PRIVATE 'THINK TANK' OUR SUPPLIED DESIGN BRIEF WAS TO CREATE AN ADMINISTRATION SYSTEM AND CRM THAT WAS SO SIMPLE THAT EVEN A PRIMATE COULD NOT FUCK UP; THIS, APPARENTLY, WAS DUE TO THE AVERAGE 'SCORE' ACHIEVED BY YOU ALL WHEN YOU COMPLETED THE COMPUTER-BASED 'QUIZ' FOLLOWING YOUR INDUCTION TRAINING - IN LAY MAN'S SPEAK YOU FUCKING RETARDS WERE TESTED TO BE SO FUCKING INCREDIBLY DUMB THAT YOUR ANSWERS ACTUALLY CRASHED THE SOFTWARE OF THE TESTING APPLICATION! THE VAST MAJORITY OF YOU ARE ALL THE REAL-LIFE VERSION OF THE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS FROM THE HOLLYWOOD, MOTION PICTURE NAMED 'IDIOCRACY' ; YOU WERE SCOUTED AND OFFERED EMPLOYMENT FOR THIS EXACT REASON; THE UK GOVERNMENT WERE UNDER HUGE PRESSURE FROM THE ACTUAL MANAGEMENT OF THE UK TO REDUCE THE EVER-INCREASING, EXORBITANT BLACK HOLE OF £BILLIONS THAT IS WASTED ON LAZY CUNTS LIKE ME. BUT, IT'S COMPLETELY BACKFIRED ON THEM! JUST LOOK AT HOW MANY THOUSANDS OF POUNDS THAT I HAVE KINDLY REMOVED FROM YOUR PISS POT! YOU DUMB-ARSE FUCKING FOOLS!!! SO, IN SUMMARY, THIS SHIT THAT YOU'VE CAUSED ME IS NOW GOING TO BE REWARDED WITH SOME OF THE MOST HARSH LEVELS OF PUNISHMENT OUTSIDE OF NORTH KOREA! AND I WILL BE EXACTING IT WITH A HUGE GRIN ACROSS ME CHOPS! ENJOY. XOX MOST SINCERELY, SR. BARATA - RIFF FLANGER - RUI MASON - PREVIOUS KNOWN AS JORDAN - [MIC DROP] .. [EAR PIERCING FEEDBACK] - [EXIT STAGE LEFT, VIA THE GIFT SHOP AND OUT!]

"Hear the sirens?"
"YMMV, BUT TRY TO ENJOY YOUR JOURNEY"