Fred VanVleet Career High 34 Points/7 Assists/1 Injury/1 Return Full Highlights (10/22/2019)

Описание: After having to reject two stunningly beautiful women in the span of two weeks, I was starting to feel like something was amiss. To have one very attractive woman show interest in me, sure, I could pass that off as a fluke. But two in such a short period of time? That's going beyond fluke status.

Things came to a head last week. I was at McDonald's picking up my breakfast (two sausage McMuffies and a cinny-melts). Going into the store for takeout is always faster than going through the drive-thru, so I was just chilling by the counter waiting for my food when I noticed that there was another woman also waiting for her food, and she was absolutely 100% smoking hot.

As any regular McDonald's patron will know, 100% smoking hot women are very rarely seen within the restaurant walls. Hot women usually have good diets, and a good diet will never include food from McDonald's. So I kind of watched her out of the corner of my eye, wondering if her boyfriend had dragged her here, but mostly I was thinking about getting some McMuffies into my McTummy. Eventually my number was called and I grabbed my food and left.

Strangely, the woman followed me even though she hadn't yet gotten her food. I was barely out the door when she boldly stepped in front of me to get my attention. I tried not to let my eyes wander to her cleavage or to her long, perfect legs (bared by a small pair of volleyball shorts which couldn't have provided any protection from the cool October morning), however, given the determination with which she was pursuing me, I could probably have stared as blatantly and as inappropriately as I wanted with no ill effect.

"Let's go back to my place for some fun," she said sultrily. "When I'm done with you, you'll have forgotten about all the daily stress of running DownToBuck."

How did she know that I was DownToBuck? I was not wearing any kind of DownToBuck logo. I was not logged in to DownToBuck on my phone. I take great pains to keep my public persona separate from the DownToBuck persona. A person observing me would have no way to connect me to DownToBuck unless they were sniffing my internet traffic. That was when I knew that some larger conspiracy was at play here.

I must have made a confused face, because the woman realized instantly that she had screwed up. She turned to walk away, but now I was the one who needed her attention. I grabbed her by the shoulder and spun her back around, not worrying about who in the parking lot might see. She winced like she was expecting to get punched, which I felt guilty about, but I needed answers. "Who are you working for?" I asked.

"Adam," she answered, and now she was so overcome with guilt and fear that she was crying.

"Adam who?"

"S-s-silver" she sobbed.

With that vital bit of information, I released my grip on her and went back to my car, thoughts of delicious breakfast food replaced by thoughts of retribution against the man who was clearly trying to sabotage my NBA highlights empire.
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After the confrontation with the third woman, the gangstalking stopped. But that wasn't enough for me. What if Adam Silver resorted to more insidious means to force me to abandon my YouTube channel? His first attempt was amateurish - any devoted DownToBuck follower would know that I am largely resistant to the charms of womankind - but it was likely he would learn from his failures. His second attempt might not be so easy to thwart.

So, one very expensive Uber ride later, I stood at the doors of the NBA headquarters in New York City with a new haircut and a brilliantly fabricated resume that I knew would make me the clear favorite for the Janitorial Shift Leader position I had applied for. With my demonstrated ability to manage a large group of team members from diverse backgrounds, my willingness to scrub toilets and empty garbage bins when necessary, and a cadre of fabricated references ready to attest to my suitability for the position, the job was all but mine.

The interview went well. When asked about my NBA fandom, I carefully explained that I was a casual fan of the Knicks, but hadn't been paying close attention to the team since Carmelo left. My true allegiance as a Bucks fan was completely hidden from them. They were impressed by my janitorial qualifications and kept asking questions about when I was able to start.

It was no surprise that I was offered the job, and with it, an inside look into the workings of the NBA. Within days of starting, I had performed so well that the scope of my responsibilities was broadened, meaning I had nearly unfettered access to all parts of the building.

Insider secrets were not what I was after. Being implicated in leaks was too much of a risk when I was so close to my goal. Instead, I diligently performed my job duties, waiting for the day when I would be face to face with Adam Silver himself. And when that day finally arrived, I would be ready.
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