Racist Drumming Sessions Part 1

Описание: Featuring White Noise and Raymond Campesino

Wasted

A sleek British sports car talks directly to us in a

pixilated, garbled video. He's OUT OF BREATH. Crates are

visible behind him. We're in the shadowy bowels of a steel

room.

LELAND TURBO:

This is Agent Leland Turbo. I have

a flash transmission for Agent Finn
McMissile.

SUPERIMPOSE OVER BLACK: WALT DISNEY PICTURES PRESENTS

LELAND TURBO:

Finn. My cover's been compromised.
Everything's gone pear-shaped.
*
SUPERIMPOSE OVER BLACK: A PIXAR ANIMATION STUDIOS FILM
*
LELAND TURBO:
You won't believe what I've found
out here.
*
He angles our camera view, reveals a PORTHOLE through which
we can see flames rising in the distance.
*
LELAND TURBO:
This is bigger than anything we've
ever seen. And no one even knows it
exists. Finn, I need backup. But
don't call the cavalry - it could
blow the operation. And be careful.
It's not safe out here!

ANGRY VOICES O.S. Time for Turbo to go.

LELAND TURBO:
Transmitting my grids now. Good
luck!

Coordinates appear: 40 6.80' N - 172 23.84' W

TITLE CARD:
CARS 2

EXT. SOMEWHERE IN THE NORTH PACIFIC - NIGHT

A TINY CRAB BOAT (CRABBY) crests over massive swells.

CRABBY:
Alright buddy, we're here. Right
where you paid me to bring you.
Question is, why?

A metallic blue sports car, circa the `60s, emerges from the

2.

shadows. Cagey, smooth, he'd turn heads driving through any

intersection in the world. Meet FINN MCMISSILE.

FINN:

I'm looking for a car.

CRABBY:

A car? Hey pal, you can't get any

further away from land than out

here.

FINN:

Exactly where I want to be.

CRABBY:

Well I got news for you, buddy.

There's nobody out here but us.

Suddenly, a HORN -- a COMBAT SHIP, the size of most cruise

ships. FINN quickly backs into the shadows, out of sight.

COMBAT SHIP:

What are you doing out here?

CRABBY:

What does it look like, genius? I'm

crabbing!

COMBAT SHIP:

Well turn around and go back where

you came from.

CRABBY:

Yeah? And who's gonna make me?

A laser sight hits Crabby between the eyes.

CRABBY:

Alright, alright! Don't get your

prop in a twist.

(as he turns to leave)

What a jerk. Sorry, buddy. Looks

like it's the end of the line.

Buddy?

ON CRABBY'S DECK: Finn is gone.

CUT TO:

FINN - He HANGS off the side of COMBAT SHIP, clandestine.

We're with Finn as the ship continues on, cuts through the

darkness with purpose. Suddenly small flames appear, perhaps

a knot or so away. Then WHOOSH!!! A flame rises above Finn,

the ship. It illuminates an OIL DERRICK.

3.

THWAP! Finn fires a GRAPPLING HOOK to the derrick and SWINGS

toward it. He's going to SLAM into the side with brute force

WHEN ---

--- HIS TIRES sprout a magnetic exoskeleton. He STICKS to the

derrick and now DRIVES VERTICALLY UP UP UP...

From this vantage point, hundreds of derricks appear.

EXT. PLATFORM - OIL DERRICK - MOMENTS LATER

Finn approaches a loading bay from above, hides. He watches

as GREMLINS, PACERS and assorted other cars scurry about.

FINN (INTO RADIO)

Leland Turbo, this is Finn

McMissile. I'm at the rally point.

Over.

No response.

FINN (INTO RADIO)

Leland, it's Finn. Please respond.

Over.

AN ACCESS DOOR OPENS LOUDLY below. A boxy, monacle-wearing

German car enters. This is PROFESSOR OTTO ZUNDAPP.

PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP

(in German and English)

Too many cars here. Out of my way!

FINN:

Professor Zundapp?

PACER (O.S.)

Here it is, Professor.

Zundapp approaches a NOSY PACER who idles next to a CRATE.

NOSY PACER:

You wanted to see this before we

load it?

PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP

Ah, yes. Very carefully...

A forklift opens the crate -- inside is a TV CAMERA, packed

carefully in foam. Finn SNAPS PHOTOS FURIOUSLY.

NOSY PACER:

Oh. A TV camera. What does it

actually do?

4.

PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP

This camera is extremely dangerous.

FINN:

(TO HIMSELF)

What are you up to now, Professor?

Finn, angling for a better view, FIRES SUSPENSION WIRES ----- which sail clear to the other side of the derrick --

--- THOK! They hook tightly onto a steel girder.

Finn slides out ONTO THE WIRE like an acrobat, then expels

another cross-wire for support.

PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP

This is valuable equipment. Make

sure it is properly secured for the


voyage.

NOSY PACER:

You got it.

Finn LOWERS HIMSELF. He snaps more pictures.

GREM (O.S.)

Hey, Professor Z!


Zundapp turns as a CRANE LOWERS A CAR-SIZED CRATE. GREM and

ACER, an orange Gremlin and a green Pacer, flank it.

GREM:

This is one of those British spies


we told you about.

ACER:

Yeah. This one we caught sticking


his bumper where it didn't belong.

Finn PRODUCES SEMI-AUTOMATIC GUNS from his side, readies

himself for a tag-team spy fight with his buddy Leland.

PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP

Agent Leland Turbo.

The crate is lifted, revealing a CRUSHED, CUBED Leland Turbo.

Finn's eyes go wide. Suddenly --- WHOOOSHHH! Another derrick

flame rises behind him, casts a Finn-shaped SHADOW over the

Professor. He looks up.

5.

PROFESSOR ZUNDAPP